Still Better than Black Keys
by OverMaster
Summary: King Arthur. Kiyohime. Vlad Tepes. Swimsuit King Arthur. Jack the Ripper. Heracles. Santa Claus King Arthur. Lu Bu. Gilgamesh. Maid King Arthur. Scheherezade. Cu Chulainn. Emperor Nero with King Arthur's face. Medea. Karna. Chaldea can summon the greatest public domain legends of human history to save mankind... and now, they can summon those copyrighted by others as well!
1. A Loud Berserker

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _The Loud House_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nickelodeon.

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 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

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 **Chapter One.**

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 **Berserker.**

 **Real Name:** The Loud siblings (Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa and Lily Loud.)

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Neutral.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Likes:** Each other (not that most of them will ever admit it), Television, Hugh.

 **Dislikes:** Being chastised, being grounded.

 **Natural Enemy:** Nightingale, Gilles De Rais.

 **Parameters:**

Strenght: E.

Endurance: C.

Agility: B.

Magic: E.

Luck: D.

Noble Phantasm: B.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Mad Enhancement (C):** The Loud siblings were a cohesive familiar unit that regardless was constantly shaken by internal strife. They were, overall, rather easy to incite into agression, and once engaged in combat, they would hardly listen to reason or pause until stopped through the application of dire threats or superior physical strenght.

 **Riding (C):** Lori only. Eldest sister Lori was the only of the siblings technically qualified for driving, and thus the group's designated driver in the absence of their parents. All four wheeled vehicles are accessible, especially those with motors, but flying artifacts and beasts are out of her reach to control.

 **Territory Creation (A):** Lisa only. Second youngest sister Lisa was a scientific genius of incredibly advanced intellect despite only being four years old, and summoned on her own she could qualify for the Caster Class. Lisa can set up a highly developed laboratory or workshop in short periods of time by making use of mere household items, and could develop instruments, biological beings, and machinery such as armored combat vehicles and living monstrosities cobbled together from trash. These workings can only be achieved within the limits of the workshop, but may be deployed anywhere else after completion.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Specialist of Many Abilities (Fake) (A):** Lincoln only. Through long direct contact with his sisters, all of whom were more talented than him in their own different ways, Lincoln developed a wide set of borrowed skills ranging from Lynn's athletic gifts to Luna's musical prowesses. Spending a meaningful amount of time around any other Servant will allow Lincoln to develop inferior copies of their own abilities, as long as they are not Divine or purely magical in nature, or ranked EX. The higher ranked the original skill is, the longer time will be needed to develop a copy.

 **Innocent Monster (C):** Lucy only. Ever obsessed with the undead, magic and afterlife, Goth sister Lucy never achieved magical capacities in life, but a distortion born from her own delusion and a misinterpretation of her legend grants her a certain amount of limited vampiric abilities and a D ranked Presence Concealment as long as this Skill is used.

 **Natural Body (C, Lola) (E, Lana):** Lola and Lana only. The possession of a perfect body as a living being since birth. Lola has been the undisputed champion of the local beauty pageants for years now, and while Lana is her twin sister, her careless, uncouth nature brings this Skill down for her to the lowest possible rank.

 **Family Ties (A):** All siblings. While constantly bickering and in-fighting, the Louds held an intense love for each other which has prompted them to be summoned as a single Servant. Losing a member of the group in battle will decrease the whole Servant's aptitude by a rank down in any random Parameter; the Servant only can lose up to a maximum of five siblings, at which point the existence of the whole is dispersed. If all siblings agree on a single given objective, their Parameters and Skills all rise one rank each, but this is an extremely rare occurrence.  
 **  
Noble Phantasms:**

 **April Fools Rules (A+):** Luan only. A specific Noble Phantasm that only can be activated the First of April, or the 28th of December if the Servant happens to be fighting in a Spanish speaking language. During the whole day, Luan, the pranks and practical jokes obsessed sister, will gain a supernatural boost on all stats, turning her into a relentless machine of savage terror campaigning upon the enemy with a minimal use of mana. Luan gains and added EX Presence Concealment as long as this Noble Phantasm is active, and her Strenght and Endurance bloom up to A, but so does her Mad Enhancement, making her unable to tell friend apart from foe without the application of a Command Seal.

 **Big Ball of Violence (B):** The Louds break into one of their collective fights, pulling the opponent into it and not letting go until either is defeated or the adversary retreats with a superior ranked Disengage skill, or a Spell Command is used to stop them. Mad Enhancement rises up to A for the Noble Phantasm's duration.

 **Summon:** Lincoln- "Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family? Well, now you have one! We are Servant Berserker!"

 **Beginning of Battle:** Lynn- "Alright... Let's do this!"

 **Victory:** Luan- "Don't feel bad about losing... We won't be Loud about it! Got it?! Hah hah!"

Lori: "We literally just kicked your butt, huh?"

Lincoln- "Huh. Now that surprises me. Isn't there anyone who can handle this house?"

Lola- "Hah! You never stood a chance competing against this much of a beauty!"

 **Defeat:** Lana- "Aw, man...!"

Lori- _"Bobby-! I'm sorry-!"_

Lily- "Poo-poo...!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** Leni- "W-Wh-What was _THAT?!_ "

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** Luan (maniacally)- "HA HA HA HA HAHAAAAAAAA!"

 **Dialogue Samples:**

Lucy- "I, I can't believe it... She's _so beautiful_..." (When you have Assassin Carmilla.)

Lori- (Gasps) "No way! Who is this mega super hunk? Is he even for real?! Literally perfect!" (When you have Lancer Diarmuid, Saber Diarmuid or Prototype Arthur.)

Lana: "Okay, now that looks like a really interesting gal!" (When you have Archer Nobunaga.)

Luna: "Yeah, yeah, very famous and all of that, but... Can he rock with an ax? No? I thought so!" (When you have Caster Mozart or Avenger Salieri.)

 **Birthday:** Lori- "Happy Birthday, Master! From all of us, have the best of days!"

Leni: "Huh? Was it today? But, but you hadn't told me anything...!"

 **Event:** Lincoln- "Oboy, a party?! Yeah, it must be a party! I'm so excited, I can't sit still! I'm so excited, my palms are sweaty!"

 **Holy Grail:** All at once- "Well, I'd like to-!" (They look at each other, then begin fighting each other for the wish.)

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 **To be Continued.**


	2. The Main Man

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Lobo_ is the creation of Keith Giffen and Roger Slifer and the intellectual property of DC Comics.

This chapter is an expansion and revision of an omake piece for my fanfic _Fields of Fate_.

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 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

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 **Chapter Two.**

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 **Assassin.**

 **Identity:** Hahn Sho Lobo (roughly translated from Khund as 'He who Devours Your Entrails and Thoroughly Enjoys It'.)

 **Titles:** The Main Man, The Ultimate Bastitch, Killer of the Cosmic Royalty.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Evil.

 **Attribute:** Star.

 **Natural Enemy:** Superman.

 **Likes:** "Of course it's booze! An' broads! An' lotsa an' lotsa carnage an' bloodshed! Those are the things a real Main Man craves! An' then there's my fishies, naturally. Th' only creatures in this fragged universe you can call noble an' graceful an'… Don't laugh now! Even if you're my Master I'll blow yer stinkin' face off!"

 **Dislikes:** "It's gotta be pansy do-gooders like Supey an' Goldstar, that creep. I can't stand them goodies who do things without expectin' fer a fair reward! What are they, idiots? They make things harder f'r the rest of us hard workin' fellas!"

 **Parameters:**

Strength: A ++

Mana: D

Endurance: EX

Agility: B

Luck: A

Noble Phantasms: B

 **Class Skills:**

 **Presence Concealment:** F (Trust us… Don't ask. Okay, it's actually E, but he said he'd kills us if we didn't give him an F, pleasedonttellhim.)

Unusually for an Assassin, Lobo never made a point of carrying out his murders in secrecy, and unless bound by wording on a contract he'd rather kill his prey as noisily and with as much collateral damage as possible, all to increase his infamy as a troublemaker and sate his bloodlust. However, while he eschews making his own involvement into assassinations a secret, he has no real interest on divulging who ordered him to commit a hit, and can be persuaded on the subject with relative ease.

 **Independent Action:** EX. (See also _From a Single Drop of Blood…_ )

Lobo has been banned from the afterlife, as Heaven, Hell and Purgatory have all declared him persona non grata. This, coupled with his amazing regenerative properties, has rendered him functionally immortal, and he can remain in this world indefinitely even after the death of his Master. Besides, Lobo is fully willing to consume human souls to sustain himself in case of need, and odds seem likely even the Throne of Heroes doesn't want him around and will pawn him off on Earth at the slightest chance. It's unknown what could ever kill Lobo and send him to the Throne of Heroes in the first place. Probably the heat death of the universe, but in any case it's for the best not thinking about it.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Battle Continuation:** A.

Lobo is a stubborn son of a bitch who will not surrender in battle until his opponent is dead, no matter how maimed, mutilated or wounded he may be. Even when overwhelmed by superior numbers or force, he is a natural born master of clean getaways, which he often uses to set up ambushes and counterstrikes.

 **Animal Dialogue:** C.

Lobo, for all his many moral flaws, genuinely loves a species of space dolphins he's sworn to protect, and he's fond of Earth dolphins as well. In general, while he cares little to nothing about other animals, they still seem to attach themselves to Lobo, and at various points a gorilla, a bulldog and a flock of vicious Frag Penguins have been drawn to him as his pets.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **From a Single Drop of Blood…:** A.

Lobo's miraculous healing factor, inherited from his Czarnian species, allows him to regenerate destroyed or missing parts of his body in seconds to minutes, depending on the seriousness of the wound. Even regrowing his whole head after having it exploded will only take him a few hours at most, and in the meanwhile Lobo's headless body can keep functioning, although blind and erratic. Lobo can revive eventually even if all that's left from him is a single drop of blood; in life this ability used to be even more fearsome, allowing Lobo to create clones of himself from each drop of spilled blood, but thankfully it was neutered by Vril Dox, commander of cosmic law enforcement organization L.E.G.I.O.N.

 **Space Hawg 666:** B.

Lobo's ride through the spaceways, a sleek, dark rocket motorcycle able to fly unscathed through black holes and loaded with all manners of deadly weaponry. While Lobo is a master at riding this vehicle, that doesn't give him the Riding ability, as he tends to destroy most other vehicles he takes and to kill all animals he mounts, space dolphins aside.

 **Honor of The Main Man:** C.

While Lobo is crude, callous, vulgar, careless, selfish, amoral, unhygienic, indecent, repulsive, cynical, greedy, abusive, inconsiderate, gluttonous, perverted, envious, aggressive, mean, loud, petty and cruel, he's a man of his word and once sworn to do something he'll do it no matter the odds against him. However, Lobo only follows the strict wording of what he's promised, and attempts to fool him into acting against his will tend to backfire horribly, as he'll find loopholes to turn unwanted orders against those who issued them, something to keep in mind when using Command Seals on him.

Lobo hates pretty much everyone, but a few individuals have gained his good graces: downtrodden cosmic driver Space Cabbie, Lobo's favorite diner owner Al and his waitress Arlene, vitriolic best bud Etrigan the Demon, and the members of superhero team The Authority. Should you join this short list, this Noble Phantasm's effects will keep you from suffering serious injury during Lobo's rampages, although humiliation and affronts to your dignity and self esteem will invariably happen.

 **Beginning of Battle:** "Say yer prayers, Clyde! It's fraggin' time!"

 **Victory:** "Fragaroonie!"

"Frag-a-tastic!"

"Izzat all? F'r real! Bah! I had a harder time wastin' the fraggin' Easter Bunny!"

 **Defeat:** "Feetal's gizz...!"

"You... You damn bastitch... I'll get you next time...!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Fraggin' pansy, you! You had to... cheat to stand a chance...!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "TO THE PAIN!"

 **Dialogue Samples:**

"Santa, huh?! I wasted Santa Claus once, yanno... Wanna me to go fer an encore?" (When you have Santa Artoria Alter, Santa Altera or Samba Quetzalcoatl.)

"What is this? Brats?! Hey, Clyde! I'm no one's fraggin' babysitter, this never wuz in the contract!" (When you have the Berserker Louds.)

 **Summoning:** "This crap again?! Feetal's gizz! Oh well, I'm Assassin! But I'd rather go with Lobo! Th' Main Man! Numero Uno primo mass killer f'r hire, atcher service… 's long as ya can pay wit' lotsa sweet mana prisms an' quartzes an' medals, of course!"

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday, Clyde! Let's start early an' go hit the nudie bar already! What? You don't know any? Dat's okay, we can start our own!"

 **Event:** "Wuzzat? Some kinda party? Awright! Let's go there, dweeb, on th' double! The Main Man never misses on a party he can crack up ta twelve!"

 **Holy Grail:** "A wish? I already gotta all I want from life! I'm free, strong, feared, smart an' incredibly handsome! But I guess I coulda wish fer a few million credits or sumthin'!"

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 **To be Continued.**


	3. Princess of Friendship

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_ is the creation and intellectual property of Hasbro Inc.

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This chapter is an expansion and revision of an omake piece for my fanfic _Fields of Fate_.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

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 **Chapter Three.**

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 **Rider.**

 **True Name** : Princess Celestia of Equestria.

 **Alternate Names** : Headmaster Celestia of Canterlot High, Princess Corona, Trollestia.

 **Alignment** : Lawful Good.

 **Attribute:** Heaven.

 **Likes** : "I like all my students, naturally! I love receiving their letters, telling me of their progress. I also like seeing my people celebrate, eh he he, and taking long bubble baths as well…"

 **Dislikes:** "I am against those who would enforce themselves upon others against their will. Freedom is necessary for harmony and prosperity!"

 **Natural Enemy:** Tiamat, Goetia.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: B

Endurance: C

Agility: C (on ground), A (in flight.)

Magic: A++

Luck: C

Noble Phantasm: EX

 **Class Skills:**

 **Riding** : C.

While summoned to this Class because of her connection to other Legendary Beasts, Rider's legend is not linked to feats of riding, driving or piloting of any sorts. However, her strong connection to all horses means she easily can get them to trust her, and ride any of them in her human form. Four wheeled land vehicles like automobiles are also manageable by her in this appearance.

 **Divinity** : A.

An immortal (although still killable through violence) sovereign of a whole gigantic country of Legendary Beasts known as 'ponies', Rider was a godlike figure whose reign spanned many generations. Her word was seen as absolute law, and while she was no real goddess, her power and stature equaled and even surpassed that of many minor deities.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Animal Language** : A.

Rider could speak to all manners of animals and exert authority over several of them, from sea serpents to gigantic bears and even butterflies. Her dominion was the most evident over other equines, while some species like griffins, yaks and dragons were hostile, indifferent or outright defiant to her rule.

 **Charisma** : A.

Smooth-tongued and eloquent, Rider was beloved by her subjects and made for a convincing speaker and leader of masses. All stallions wanted her, and all mares wanted to be her. Even her adversaries usually respected her, although this skill will drop two ranks against all Chaotic Evil Servants.

 **Power of the Princess: The Greatest Alicorn Of All** : A.

Born an alicorn, Rider was one of five known princesses possessing the skills of pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies alike. Through her horn, she can harness and manifest a wide variety of overwhelming magical effects, ranking from telekinesis to release of devastating energy blasts, and including the generation of defensive force fields and long distance teleporting. However, this Skill only can be used by Rider in her alicorn form.

 **Teacher for the Future: Miracle Worker** : A.

Not only was Rider a ruler, but also a devoted teacher for gifted students on magic, constantly stressing the values of friendship, loyalty, honesty, generosity and kindness. When fighting to defend someone she considers a disciple at heart, all her stats will be boosted by one rank.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **The Crystal Mirror: Passage to Another World:** D.

Originally, this Noble Phantasm was a portal between dimensions, but the limitations of the Grail system have downgraded it to a tool through which Rider can alter her appearance to one of an alternate human version of her legend. This is done to better blend in with the human society, but otherwise renders her useless in combat until the Mirror is used again to change her back.

 **Equestria: Magical Land of Harmony:** EX.

Being semidivine, Rider can summon this Reality Marble that reshapes the world around her into a copy of her longtime Equestrian domains. Rider gains the helping charge of her pony subjects, several of them Heroic Spirits themselves, including the six Elements of Harmony bearers and fellow princesses Luna and Cadence. An annihilating pastel colored Anti-Army attack able to overcome all but the strongest Servants.

 **Summoning:** "Greetings, Master. I am Servant Rider, at your service. I hope our friendship turns out to be as long as fruitful."

 **Beginning of Battle:** "Very well. If this cannot be avoided, then let us-"

 **Victory:** "I trust now you will see the error of your ways."

"Can you get back up? I will heal you back, as long as you promise not to try that again..."

 **Defeat:** "Master... I'm so sorry..."

"I have failed everypony..."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Twilight Sparkle... I leave everything to you..."

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "For Equestria's sake! I call upon its greatest power! The magic of our friendship!"

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday, Master! Oh dear, I wish Pinkie Pie were here… I'm afraid these parties aren't my specialty, even though I've had many. How many? Sorry, that's a lady's secret to keep…"

 **Event:** "Oh dear, what is that? A festival? A carnival? A ball, mayhaps? Let us see, Master! I'm sure it will be fun!"

 **Holy Grail:** "If I had to wish for something… it would be for 'that event' between my sister and I to never come to pass. It left us both with so much regret over so long…"

 **Dialogue Samples:**

"Oh my, what a happy coincidence! The King of Britain is here, too! Huh? Yes, I do know her. We fought together in another War, long ago. She has always loved horses, you know…" (When you have Saber Artoria.)

"… I see. I realize we are supposed to fight together, but we remain polar opposites in a story like this…" (When you have Caster Maleficent.)

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 **To be Continued.**


	4. School of Black Magic

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Bible Black_ is the creation and intellectual property of Milky Software.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

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 **Chapter Four.**

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 **Caster.**

 **Real Name:** Kitami Reika.

 **Alignment:** Neutral Evil.

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Likes:** Exerting control over others, Sexual Torture.

 **Dislikes:** Being outdone by others.

 **Natural Enemy:** Saint Martha, Ruler Jeanne.

 **Parameters:**

Strenght: E.

Endurance: D.

Agility: C.

Magic: A.

Luck: B.

Noble Phantasm: C.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Item Creation (B+):** Caster was an accomplished modern day alchemist, bringing contemporay science and black magic together to craft many spells, potions and contraptions, most of them geared towards sexual and spiritual domination.

 **Territory Creation (A):** Caster doesn't need an extremely wide area to set a functional workshop for her needs. She can optimize average resources to great efficiency, and excels at establishing posts that can syphon life energies from those around her. Generally, the more followers Caster gathers, the more skilled at developing workshops she becomes, and she can maintain up to six at once.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Body Theft (A):**

While studying about the Knights Templar to escape the consequences of a pact with the devil, Caster once stumbled upon a certain secret. In order to investigate this secret, she joined a secret organization called the Prieure de Sion. The Knights Templar knew of a spell that would allow one achieving soul-succession, by excising the soul from the body, and transferring it to another body. Should Caster's body be destroyed, as long as she has enough time to make use of this ability, she can transfer her esence into another Servant, who becomes her host, or a human, who has their body altered until becoming an identical but weaker copy of Caster's original body. This skill cannot be used against Servants with the Divinity skill or high Magic Resistance.

 **Charisma (B):** Caster was able to make others follow her into all manners of sickening crimes, eventually becoming a cult-like figurehead through possession of Kurumi Imari.

 **Natural Body (B):** The possession of a perfect body as a living being since birth. Caster was one of the most attractive women in her country and age, able to seduce men and women alike effortlessly, and even without her. Even without using magic, she could bring all but the most determined individuals under her sway, and one of her favorite sexual tricks involved the development of a massive phallus of seemingly never ending stamina, which never failed to sexually satisfy any women she had intercourse with.

 **Bible Black- Forbidden Tome of Sex (A):** A book of ancient origins, dating from Medieval France, which fell into Caster's posession during a traumatic event of her youth which turned her from a pure and innocent soul into a twisted degenerate witch. Caster does not need the book, as she has learned all she could from it, and should it be destroyed, she can continue acting normally. However, holding the book increases the potency of the magical attacks and defenses she learned from it, including energy barriers to act as her shields and mind control techniques. Mostly, the book allowed her to engage into a wide variety of obscene sex rituals to break the will of others and make them into her loyal long term slaves.  
 **  
Noble Phantasm:**

 **Night of Walpurgis (C+):** The crystallization of Caster's depravity, this Noble Phantasm envelops everyone around her into a bounded field that, while escapable and not reaching the status of a Reality Marble, numbs the senses and willpower of those she catches into it. The more enemies or Servants caught within the Night of Walpurgis, the more effective this Noble Phantasm becomes. Its efficiency also increases greatly if it is performed at nightime. Living humans cannot escape it and have their life energy drained; Servants with high levels of the Disengage, Eye of the Mind, and Willpower skills may break from it. Caster and whoever she has snared will have repeated brutal sex within the Noble Phantasm until its ultimate completion; humans die from it invariably, but Servants may be used as mindless slaves for Caster to deploy later until they run out of mana and disappear.

 **Summon:** "Greetings, young Master. I'm Kitami Reika, Nurse. At your service, always."

 **Beginning of Battle:** "Come in. Get undressed. Your examination will start right now."

 **Victory:** "Don't worry. You can just get an abortion if you get pregnant."

"Ahhhhh... It's fun watching people suffer over and over again. A face filled with pain, a face filled with pleasure...They all turn me on in different ways."

 **Defeat:** "N-No! Give me more time...!"

 _"Damn you-!"_

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "No! You will pay for this! I will have my revenge, from Hell...!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "Once people begin using magic, they can never again escape temptation. You just have to obey me. I'll show you how wonderful the darkness is..."

 **Dialogue Samples:**

"Well, well, well! And what do we have here? Such an interesting existence..." (When you have Alter Ego Sessyoin Kiara.)

"What is this supposed to be? A demon? Don't make me laugh! I have seen real demons..." (When you have Caster Mephistopheles.)

"Let us explore the pleasures of the flesh together, Master. She, you and I, brought together in the vilest of embraces." (When you have Rider Medb or Saber Medb.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday, dear Master. We will enjoy ourselves all day and night long."

 **Event:** "Oh ho ho. What a quaint little experience! Let us see if we can improve on it, shall we...?"

 **Holy Grail:** "What would I wish for? Well, if I could... I would just turn the clock back twelve years, so I never- Oh, but what am I saying. The world doesn't work that way..."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	5. Archer Lily

_Fate Grand Order_ and _Fate/Stay Night_ are the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five.**

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 **Archer.**

 **Real Name:** Emiya Shirou.

 **Aliases:** Sempai, Emiya-kun, Onii-chan, EMIYA Lily.

 **Alignment:** Lawful Good.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Likes:** GREAT JUSTICE, Saving People, Helping People, Cooking.

 **Dislikes:** Injustice, EMIYA.

 **Natural Enemy:** Archer EMIYA, Gilgamesh, Kotomine Kirei.

 **Parameters:**

Strenght: E.

Endurance: D.

Agility: C.

Mana: C.

Luck: C.

Noble Phantasm: E-A.

A younger manifestation of the existence that would result in Counter Guardian EMIYA, and the one who would host Pseudo Servant Muramasa. Whem EMIYA contracted with Alaya, he surrender the whole of his existence to The World, and so The World has now exerted that right to draw this Servant from a much earlier point of his life than that when he was contracted. The exact reasons behind this course of action are unknown.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Independent Action (B+):** Archer was a stubborn, headstrong boy, so obsessed in his pursuit of a just path in life he could borderline delusion on his capacities, and would prefer taking risks on his own, without involving others, as often as possible. The reason why this Skill is ranked higher than EMIYA's is because Shirou's bullheadedness granted him a willpower based Idiot Shounen Hero effect the more mature and realistic (or more jaded and cynical) EMIYA could not duplicate anymore, despite being even more stubborn in other related ways. He could survive up to three days without a Master as opposed as EMIYA's average of two, however this may be greatly lessened by Young Shirou's less economic and pragamatic usage of mana.

 **Magic Resistance (E+):** Compared to his older self, Archer has a lessened Magic Resistance because of a worse track record against magic, and a lesser degree of experience dealing with it. What resistance he has in him is owed to the effects of the Avalon relic stored within his body at this point of his life.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Magecraft (D-):** At this point of his life, Emiya is still a neophyte just starting to get used in the use of Reinforce and Projection, and thus his rank is lower than the older EMIYA's.

 **Charisma (C-B):** Archer, by this stage of his existence, was less likely to push others away from him than he would be later in life, and his eagerness to help others no matter the situation made others overall quite willing to follow him in his quests, although generally only after some disbelief and disparaging of his ideals. The Skill is ranked C when dealing with males, and B when applied on females. It may increase to A if Archer is witnessed displaying an apparently impossible feat, inspiring others to stand by his side.

The true mark of a Harem Hero.

 **Projection (C-):** A special type of magecraft that reproduces tools for a few minutes by means of images. Archer's was more inclined towards the duplication and handling of weapons, especially bladed ones, even though, once again, a lack of experience compared to EMIYA's has lowered his rank in this regard.

 **Cooking with the Emiya Family (A):** A support skill used to boost the physical and mental capacities of allies through the gift of generous meals skillfully prepared. While Counter Guardian EMIYA was more experienced and skilled at cooking itself, he lost the extra human touch and warmth this younger version of himself would put into his cooking, meaning this Skill is exclusive to Young Emiya.  
 **  
Noble Phantasms:**

 **Unlimited Blade Works (E-A):** An unorthodox, unofficial type of Noble Phantasm, more of a Reality Marble that rewites reality around Emiya, manifesting as an open, barren desert with monolithic black gears gyrating in the distance. It is a kingdom of rubble littered with thousands, perhaps a countless number, of swords anchored in the ground like grave markers in a wasteland, yet are well preserved. It is a world likened to a steel mill, filled with weapons, flames, and giant gears. The basis for the world in the Reality Marble is a hill of swords spreading infinitely within Emiya's mind. Upon completion, Unlimited Blade Works allows Shirou access to a huge variety of weapons for his use against the enemy, including any weapon based Noble Phantasm he has observed. Divine Constructs, such as Ea and Excalibur, are impossible to replicate, however there may be degraded Noble Phantasms with similar abilities stored within this Reality Marble.

 **Archer's Arm (C):** Once, in one of several paths his life could have taken, Young Emiya lost an arm in combat, and received a spare arm from his future counterpart, Counter Guardian EMIYA. Activating this Noble Phantasm revives that moment, grafting a copy of EMIYA's arm onto Shirou, and boosting all of his parameters and skills that were inferior to EMIYA's up to EMIYA's level. Otherwise, Young Archer's parameters and skill set remain the same. While this increases his efficiency in battle, the stress of the merging takes a quick toll on Emiya's body, which will crumble down eventually if the Noble Phantasm is not deactivated within a time limit. After that, Young Archer's body begins going back to normal slowly.

 **Summon:** "Ahhh, it's going to feel so weird, saying this, but... Okay. I'm Servant Archer. I ask you, then, are you my Master?"

 **Beginning of Battle:** "If you walk down the path that you believe is right, you cannot be wrong!"

 **Victory:** "Even if I'm a fraud, I know my dream isn't wrong."

"It makes me so mad when people try so hard to become victims."

 **Defeat:** "Urgh..."

"Father! _Saber-!_ "

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Aaaaahhhhh...!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** _"I am the bone of my sword. Steel is my body and fire is my blood. I have created over a thousand blades. Unaware of loss, Nor aware of gain. Withstood pain to create weapons, waiting for one's arrival. I have no regrets. This is the only whole life was Unlimited Blade Works!"_

 **Dialogue Samples:**

"It can't be… Is this… Is this really you, Saber?!" (When you have Saber Artoria.)

"S-Saber! That... That bikini is... um... it looks good on you..." (When you have Archer Artoria.)

"I… I don't really know how to feel about this…" (When you have Saber Artoria Alter, Mysterious Heroine X, Lancer Artoria, Lancer Artoria Alter, Rider Santa Artoria, Rider Maid Artoria, Berserker Mysterious Heroine X or Foreigner Mysterious Heroine X.)

"No way. No way we both would end up here, that's too much. I refuse to accept it…" (When you have Archer EMIYA.)

"That person… I don't know who he is, or why he eludes me, but I still can feel some sort of connection between us…" (When you have Assassin Kiritsugu.)

"Eh? Tohsaka? What are you doing in that get up? It's kind of, well…" (When you have Archer Ishtar.)

"Illya-chan! What in the world are you doing?! P-Put on something else, that's too scandalous!" (When you have Caster Prisma Illya.)

"Eh?! What—What are **you** doing here?!" (When you have Archer Gilgamesh.)

"Oh, Fuji-nee. Are you drunk again? For shame, that's—Eh? What other reason would you have to be dressed up like that?" (When you have Lancer Jaguar Man.)

"It's you again, sheesh… What a persistent guy, huh…" (When you have Lancer Cu Chulainn.)

 **Birthday:** "Hey, Happy Birthday! Come on, come on, I've prepared a birthday feast for you!"

 **Event:** "What is that? A party? Well, it sure looks interesting, doesn't it...?"

 **Holy Grail:** "I have no real reason to make a wish on it. All I'd like for is to keep others from killing each other for it, and for it not to be used for evil..."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	6. The Perfect Knight

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Six.**

* * *

Okay, this may be kind of cheating, even moreso than with EMIYA Lily/Shirou. However, please listen me out! While this Servant is technically canonical, and most of her stats sheet remains the same as in Fate Grand Order, there's a basic major difference regarding her identity. This is not Mash Kyrielight, lab-created child who later was merged with Sir Galahad's spirit. She is Sir Galahad herself, recorded by history as male but who was actually a young woman in life, much like Arthur herself. Because, other than Lancelot, Gawain, Kay, Agravain, and a couple of others, my version of Camelot was pretty much a Pink Bishoujo Ghetto. Once it leaks your king is actually a woman, every formerly neglected woman who was skilled with weapons and brave and would have been otherwise neglected and rejected by society saw a chance there.

So yes, this is the version who would exist in the backstory of my fanfiction _Unequally Rational and Emotional_ , but **not** the _**Mashu**_ seen in _You Broke my Heart with Fanservice_ , who came from another dimension with Chaldea's forces, and who had the same origin as in canon. This is the Galahad native to my main universe, as she would be summoned for a Grail War set there.

* * *

 **Shielder.**

 **True Identity:** Sir Galahad of Corbenic.

 **Alignment:** Lawful Good.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Titles and Aliases:** The Knight of the Shield, Mash Kyrielight (when traveling with Saber and Irisviel von Einzbern and under the employ of Chaldea.)

 **Parameters** :

Noble Phantasm: A.

Strength: C.

Mana: B.

Endurance: A.

Agility: D.

Luck: C.

 **Natural Enemy:** Morgan Le Fay.

 **Liked things:** "The blue sky, the green earth, camping with friends and listening to songs… those are the things I like…"

 **Disliked things:** "I definitely don't like it when Father is acting foolishly. Honestly, he can be so embarrassing…"

 **Class Skills** :

 **Magic Resistance:** A.

Galahad, the illegitimate child of Sir Lancelot du Lac, has been blessed with resistance to diverse type of magic continued possession and prolonged contact and mastery of Lord Camelot, the invincible shield forged from the foundation of the Round Table itself, meant to repel the vile and powerful arts of the King's half-sister Morgan Le Fay. The shield's properties have been passed onto her to some degree, once allowing her to rescue her father from the enticing spells of Castle Anthrax. However, as Galahad never drank liquor in life, she didn't have the chance to develop immunity to magics consumed through liquids. Otherwise, she could even withstand the touch of Hassan of Serenity with no ill effects.

 **Riding:** C.

Like other Knights of the Round, Galahad engaged into regular long spans of horse riding through the King's military campaigns and assorted crusades. She will be similarly apt at driving modern land vehicles, although Legendary Beasts, aerial and water means of transportation are beyond her control.

 **Personal Skills** :

 **Transient Wall of Snowflakes:** C.

A power born from Galahad's selfless devotion to her comrades and their cause, and her willingness to protect them. When protecting allies or an allied territory, she will convert her mental fortitude into a buff of global defense, boosting her overall protection range.

 **Obscurant Wall of Chalk:** D.

Another defensive skill, this one has a more concentrated rank, centering onto a single target. This person or object will be protected to such a degree all attempts to strike at them will be futile unless backed up by skills or Noble Phantasms ranked A+ or above. However, getting this skill to work correctly in the first place may be difficult; Galahad's strong instincts to protect everyone make it hard for her to concentrate on a single individual overlooking everybody else.

 **Shield of Rousing Resolution:** A.

A skill that temporarily raises Galahad's self defense and draws in an opponent's attack. Used along Galahad's Noble Phantasm, it can increase its rank to A+, A++ or even EX, depending on Galahad's own resolution and drive at the moment.

 **Noble Phantasm** :

 **Lord Camelot: The Now Far Off Ideal Castle:** A.

The ultimate measure of protection provided by the Round Table. In accordance with Galahad's faith and courage, her shield will work as a barrier extending far beyond its own physical limits, covering a much wider area even if logically it shouldn't be blocking it from damage.

As long as Galahad holds the shield, this Noble Phantasm will remain in effect until the threat has passed. In extreme cases, even if the attack should surpass the shield, the damage will be transferred to Galahad's body exclusively, and the shield itself will keep on functioning to protect others even for several moments after the destruction of Shielder's own physical form—the ultimate sacrifice of a knight for her kingdom.

 **Summoning:** "I am Servant Shielder, at your service, Master. What are your orders?"

 **Beginning of Battle:** "For Camelot! For the King! For Master!"

 **Victory:** "You have fought bravely and giving all your own. It has been a honor."

"Please don't get back up. Not yet..."

 **Defeat:** "I'm sorry... Master..."

"Please carry on without me..."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I surrender... to the superior power of your miracle..."

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday! We should be telling all our friends about this, shouldn't we? I'm sure we can throw you the party this occasion merits!"

 **Event:** "I have just received intelligence a special phenomenon is occurring, Master. We should be getting there at once! It's a unique chance to get rare items, you know!"

 **Holy Grail:** "Hadn't I sent it to the Heavens once? Why, after that, would they bother creating more of them? A copy never could surpass the original!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Assassin, uh… Ugh, sorry, I've never felt comfortable when that person's around…" (When you have Assassin Lobo.)

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

This version of Shielder takes from the original, unused concept for the character from way back into the preliminary design stages for _Fate/Stay Night_ , where she would be the 'Stray Servant' originally summoned for the Fourth War with her own route. I also took some inspiration from Kamenhero25's _Fate Harem Antics_ fanfic, in that there Galahad was always a female in life. Give it a read!

Additionally, in the backstory I had for the Camelot of _Unequally Rational and Emotiona,_ Kay and Merlin were basically the versions from Walt Disney's _The Sword in the Stone_ , although Artoria's nostalgia must be coloring her view of Kay; while after her being crowned Kay indeed became much more loyal and protective of her, he never stopped being a big idiot, not that much better than Perceval (see below.) Taking a page from T.H. White's _The Once and Future King_ , Merlin ages backwards, so while he would have been an old man indeed around the times of Camelot, by present day he should have his much more youthful and hormonal self from _Grand Order_.

Sir Jason is Jason Blood of the DC Universe, later punished by Merlin, who bonded him to Etrigan the Demon. Sir Perceval is based on the version from, all things, Capcom's arcade game _Knights of the Round_ , where he was the big strong and slow guy to go along with Arthur's Jack of All Stats and Lancelot's Fragile Speedster. To reflect this, I think of him as a huge, stupid hulking brute of a dude, good hearted but with all the intellectual and vocal range you'd expect from a big lug from a fighting game of the nineties. If you don't know Sir Robin from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ , I'll have to sic Shadow Crystal Mage on you. Palamedes, Tristan, Ywain (not to be confused with Gawain), Bors, Balin and Beldivere are all from the videogame _Eiyuu Senki_ , a.k.a. 'You Thought Fate was Bad with the Gender Swaps? Here, Hold my Beer While I Show You'. Agravain, Lancelot, Mordred, Gareth and Gawain are all from proper _Fate_ Lore. I especially like the Type-Moon version of Agravain and I hope the Camelot stage of Cosmos in the Lostbelt makes him playable at last.

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	7. One Punch Knight

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Eiyuu Senki- The World Conquest_ is the creation and intellectual property of Tenco.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven.**

* * *

Once again, this is the version of this particular Heroic Spirit who would exist in the backstory of my fanfiction _Unequally Rational and Emotional._ As said in Shielder's profile, she is taken from the videogame _Eiyuu Senki- The World Conquest,_ but as a nod to the Fate Saga, she will incorporate several traits and characteristics from the Fate version of Bedivere.

* * *

 **Saber.**

 **True Identity:** Sir Bedivere Bedrydant.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Alignment:** Lawful Good.

 **Attribute:** Star.

 **Titles and Aliases:** The Rocket Punch Knight, Bedivere the Wise, Bedi.

 **Parameters** :

Noble Phantasm: A.

Strength: A.

Mana: C.

Endurance: C.

Agility: A+.

Luck: B.

 **Natural Enemy:** Lucius Tiberius.

 **Liked things:** "The King, of course! And steamed vegetables and fresh salad, those are so hard to get in a campaign! Um, and should it ever come to pass, I'd also like to meet a Charming Prince on a white horse... There was never any time for that back when I rode for the cause, but..."

 **Disliked things:** "I don't dislike anything or anyone in particular. But! The enemies of the country and the invading hordes will not be forgiven!"

 **Class Skills** :

 **Magic Resistance:** B.

Airgetlám, a tool of great offensive and defensive capacities forged by the fairies, has been grafted onto Bedivere's body, grealy increasing her resistance against magecraft and chanted spells. Spells with less than three verses will be shrugged off immediately, unless the caster has the Divinity skill or the spell itself is ranked A+ or EX. However, this Skill is completely useless against mages from the Age of Gods and against Berserker Negi Springfield or Caster Negi Springfield's Stripping Sneezes, for some reason.

 **Riding:** B.

Like other Knights of the Round, Bedivere engaged into regular long spans of horse riding through the King's military campaigns and assorted crusades. She will be similarly apt at driving modern land vehicles, although Legendary Beasts, aerial and water means of transportation are beyond her control. This Skill is decreased from what it would have been before gaining Airgetlám, as its extra weight puts an added stress on any creature she is riding.

 **Personal Skills** :

 **Organizational Tactics:** B.

The first knight recruited into King Arthur's ranks during her campaigns and the longest serving Knight of the Round from its start to its finish, Bedivere developed several skills to hold a team together through her long tenure, and after the losses of Agravain, Gawain's siblings, Lancelot and Mordred, she was the one keeping what remained of the team together, as the King was too troubled to even keep a clear mind on the going-ons around herself. While not as skilled at bureaucracy and paperwork as Mordred, she was an efficent manager and caretaker for a bunch who barely could take good care of themselves out of a battlefield. Put in a team, she will raise the morale and cohesion of all members, and she was the sole Knight who could sew clothes and actually cook for the others, beyond Gawain's paltry and lacking skills at the kitchen.

 **Silver Body:** B.

In battle, this Skill increases one's own offensive defense and resistance against physical attacks. Out of it, it translates as a probably supernatural permanence of youth and vitality. Living an existence of virtue and frugality coupled with constant hard work, Bedivere kept herself remarkably young looking and healthy through more than a decade of active duty in Artoria's legions. Despite lacking the Avalon gifted to Artoria and her dragon blood lineage, Bedivere still looked as youthful and attractive as her King by the time of the Battle of Camlann.

 **Oath of the Protector:** B+.

Despite not being especially charismatic or impressively prone to inspiring speeches, there was a combination of quirky, eccentric wisdom and loyal warmth to Bedivere that always raised the spirits of those fighting by her side, even during the most dire of times. This skill born from her declaration of protection to her friends raises the defense power of all members in Bedivere's allied camp, depending on how long they have spent around Bedivere.

 **Noble Phantasm** :

 **Take Up a Sword. Airgetlám, The Silver Rocket Arm** **:** A.

Bedivere's right arm was once chopped off in battle, and replaced with a highly advanced prosthetics with supernatural capacities. It is an ever active tool in a latent level, increasing Bedivere's strenght and resiliance despite her all too human origins. However, when activated through the chant of the Noble Phantasm activation proper, it can be shot off her body like a devastating projectile, only to immediately latch back onto her as soon as the target is reached.

Other than this, the Rocket Arm also conceals a wide variety of extra functions, including hidden blades, vibration based weapons, cooking implements and a primitive, crude chainsaw.

 **Summoning:** "Saber, Servant of the Sword, Knight of the Rocket Glove! Waiting for your orders, Commander!"

 **Beginning of Battle:** "For Camelot! For the King! For Master!"

 **Victory:** "Another conquest for Camelot!"

"... and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped!"

 **Defeat:** _"Nu...!"_

"Your Majesty... You'll have to trust your sword to Perceval..."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I knew we should have used a Trojan Horse!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** _"My power is all for your sake! And yours, all for mine! So take flight on my command! Silver Meteor! Airgetlám!"_

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday! Happy birthday! I baked this cake and sew this handkerchief for you!"

 **Event:** "Ufufufu...! A major celebration, is that not right? Master, Master! Let us check it out together!"

 **Holy Grail:** "It is a Knight's duty to recover it, of course! I couldn't join the search for it the first time around, but this time I'll claim it for sure! Huh? What will I wish for with it? Th-That is not up to me to say! I'll let the King make that decision!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Your Majesty! So pleased to serve under you once again! Um, I threw the sword in the lake as I was asked, did I do right...?" (When you have Saber Artoria.)

"Allow me to ask you a question that has long tormented me regarding your kind... Are you made of wood?" (When you have Caster Medea, Caster Kitami Reika, or Avenger Jeanne D'Arc.)

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	8. Only a Poor Old Man

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Duck Tales_ is the creation and intellectual property of The Walt Disney Company.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight.**

* * *

 **Lancer.**

 **Real Name:** Scrooge Mc Duck.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Alignment:** Neutral Good (used to be Lawful Neutral earlier in life.)

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Origin:** Scotland, Late 19th Century.

 **Likes:** Money, Prestige, Money, his three youngest nephews, Outsmarting Others, Money, Glitering Goldie, Money.

 **Dislikes:** Business Rivals, Thieves, his lazier nephews, Poverty.

 **Natural Enemy:** Gilgamesh.

 **Parameters:**

Strenght: C

Endurance: B

Agility: C

Mana: B

Luck: A

Noble Phantasm: C

 **Class Skills:**

 **Magic Resistance (D):** Lancer was said to have gained a powerful aura of good fortune from the possesion of his Number One Lucky Dime, the first coin he ever earned in his first days as a shoeshine boy. However, Lancer himself would argue there was nothing supernatural about his fortune's origins, and would say it was all the result of his own hard work and business acumen. Others have theorized it was Lancer's obsessive drive to make his millions that fetishized his Dime to the point of making it a powerful empathic talisman. Whatever the reason, crystallization of his legend has cemented the Dime's status as a magical amulet, and the reason of Lancer's Magic Resistance.

The Dime has also made him unusually high in the Luck parameter for a Lancer.

 **Mad Enhancement (D):** While not a Berserker, Lancer was known for entering destructive fits of rage comparable to those of his sister and his most famous nephew, whenever he was separated from his money. While in this state, Lancer was unfeeling to pain and able to take on large amounts of enemies at once. This Skill can only be triggered through two Command Seals or taking Lancer's treasure away from him, since usually he would take great pride on his rationality.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Pioneer of the Stars (A):**

In his never ending quest for wealth, influence and adventure, Lancer would undertake several enterprises that would develop, not only his personal empire, but the progress of duck civilization as a whole. Lancer even went to outer space and dealt with alien cultures more than once.

Lancer also traveled between worlds for a time during the crisis of the Kingdom Hearts, making another fortune for himself by selling sea-salt icecream.

 **Cane Fu (C):** Lancer's usage of a not so simple wooden walking stick as a weapon was skilled enough as to qualify him as a polearm using warrior, hence his inclusion in this Class. Lancer could, despite his advance age, use this cane to hop around like a jumping stick, and this way he was able of covering great distances. The cane also can shoot laser beams, an addition placed into it by Scrooge's genius employee Gyro Gearloose.

 **Golden Rule (A+):** Lancer was fairly known as 'The Richest Duck in the World', a potentate with companies all across the world, and enough money as to use a gigantic building in his home city of Duckburg, Calisota, as a mere deposit for spare change to swim in for fun. Money was never an issue, since he had more than enough of it to last him several lives over. However, Lancer's... _**extremely frugal and saving..**_. nature means he will not part ways with any money, no matter how small the sum, as long as he can help it, lowering the Skill from the EX he would have otherwise. This drop in rank is not steep because Lancer could, however, usually get whatever he wished without spending money, one way or another.

 **Dragon Riding (E):** Lancer once rode a runaway mystical gold dragon above the streets of Duckburg, earning him this Skill. However, as he could not steer the beast too accurately, the Skill's rank is very low. Otherwise, Lancer doesn't have the Riding skill, as he always depended on chaffeurs and pilots past his youth years (see also- Rider Launchpad Mc Quack.)  
 **  
Noble Phantasm:**

 **The Life and Times of Scrooge Mc Duck (E-A):**

Lancer invests a certain amount of his personal fortune, once calculated to rank one multiplujillion, nine obsquatumatillion, six hundred twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents, into striking at the enemy. The results of this barrage, technically comparable to Gilgamesh's _Gate of Babylon_ , can include everything from Gyro Gearloose's army of lethal robots to every and all security measures in Scrooge's Money Bin, an arsenal of deadly traps and devices. Lancer also is able of literally burying his adversaries under mountains of gold and treasure, suffocating them to death. However, as Lancer is extremely reluctant to use his resources this way, the Noble Phantasm will rarely be used, and if he ever does, he'll need an extremely dangerous situation, like a confrontation against Goetia, to unleash it beyond a D Rank.

 **Summon:** "How you do, kid, I'm Lancer, but you can call me Mr. Mc Duck. How much will you be paying? My services aren't cheap..."

 **Beginning of Battle:** "Let's make this quick and cheap!"

 **Victory:** "A fool and their money will soon be separated. Example... YOU!"

"Well, that was a waste of me time! And time is money, you know!"

"Do you have five dollars I could borrow?"

 **Defeat:** "Bless me bagpipes!"

"Curse you and your spending ways!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** _"Bury me in the cheapest box...!"_

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "I made my fortune by being smarter than the smarties and tougher than the toughies! Want to see? Take a quick look! But you'll have to repay me with interests!"

 **Dialogue Samples:**

"All the treasures in the world, huh... Well, maybe those in the human world! What if we compare fortunes, would you like that, Boy?" (When you have Archer Gilgamesh or Kid Gilgamesh.)

"A sailor? Oh, maybe you should take me nephew Donald for your crew. Make him work hard and on a short pay, that's what the lad needs..." (When you have Rider Blackbeard or Rider Drake.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday, kid! As your gift, here's an invitation to me next birthday party! Make sure to bring something nice, will you?"

 **Event:** "Oh ho ho! A business chance! Let's go, kid, there might be some of those quartzes to be earned there...!"

 **Holy Grail:** "Wishing for another fortune? Of course not! I don't believe in shortcuts, Kid! But, this sure would look nice in one of my museums, heh heh..."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	9. The King of Heroes, Gil-Kun

_Fate Grand Order, Fate/Stay Night, Fate Zero_ and _Fate EXTRA CCC_ are the creations and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine.**

* * *

This is another canon Servant, so it's not like this profile will have many surprises to it or anything, but since I already had written it for _Fields of Fate_ , here it is again, for the purposes of completion...

* * *

 **Archer.**

 **True Name:** Gilgamesh of Uruk.

 **Other Names and Aliases:** King of Heroes, Mankind's Oldest Hero, First of Heroes, Golden Hero, Gil, Gil-Gil.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Attribute:** Sky.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Good.

 **Origin:** _The Epic of Gilgamesh_ (Summeria.)

 **Natural Enemy:** Archer EMIYA.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: B

Endurance: C

Agility: C

Mana: B

Luck. A

Noble Phantasm: EX

 **Likes:** "Naturally, I love treasures more than anything else. The achievements of humanity are for their King to collect and appreciate with proper wisdom, after all!"

 **Dislikes:** "Another easy answer! Mediocrity, the unwillingness to live your existence to its fullest, offends my sense of achievement! I hate all lives that will not exploit their true potential! Keep that in mind, mongrel!"

 **Class Skills:**

 **Independent Action:** A+

Gilgamesh has an incredible capacity for spending little prana despite a very liberal use of his abilities, thanks to his semi divine status. A carefree, stubborn and independent person with little tolerance for others' suggestions or controls, he will try and stray away from a Master's influence as soon as possible, and has the means to do so, although he's known to stick around individuals he will consider 'interesting' on a whim.

 **Charisma:** A+

A born leader, Gilgamesh's strong personality overcomes those around him. Through pure personal charm, strength of word, and pure relentless verbiage, most will soon feel willing to overlook his character flaws and follow him because of a combination of fear, respect and actual admiration. Those who are of divine or royal blood and gifted with the Charisma or Mind Pollution skills can avoid the effects of this personal buff, however.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Divinity:** B

Gilgamesh is, by birth, three quarters god and one quarter human, so this Skill should be ranked A+; however, as he grew up to hate the gods, his own despise for the divine lowered this level in his Saint Graph. Gilgamesh will, by default, tend to question any being he perceives as godlike, and he will rebel against them at the first sign of what he perceives as injustice.

 **Magic Resistance:** E

A special case. Gilgamesh has a very low level of this Skill in his body (again, one that would be greatly increased if he embraced his divine heritage), but for practical purposes, the staggering amount of anti-magic charms, seals and wards he has collected (see next Skill) has augmented his imperviousness to magic to an A. He can plow through the attacks of most Casters, even those from the Age o Gods, with ease.

 **Collector:** EX

Through his life, Gilgamesh gathered all riches the world had to offer in his time, and as first of Kings, he considers himself entitled to possession of anything created through human history. He owns weapons, tools, and assorted objects from all points of mankind's development, which he stores in the Gate of Babylon; however, this doesn't mean he knows how to use them all. He is, regardless, a decent swordsman, rider and driver, and even spellcaster, although nowhere in the level of true specialists. It is important to note Gilgamesh has no access to items exclusive to alien societies or civilizations of gods or demons.

 **Golden Body:** A

A paragon of physical fitness and male beauty, Gilgamesh's body is naturally athletic and doesn't deteriorate with age or his luxurious, hedonistic lifestyle, thanks to a combination of an active outlook and divine ascendance. His attractiveness adds to the charm effect he has on people, other than those with extremely high willpower or unusual tastes concerning beauty. And yes, even if you're a man you'll go gay for him.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Gate of Babylon:** E- A++

A special storage where Gilgamesh keeps his vast treasure. In battle, it manifests as a barrage of weaponry discharged from the King's vault, a massive onslaught of lethal instruments relentlessly raining on the adversary at a fast pace. As Gilgamesh has no fine control over exactly which weapons will drop at a given time, the effect of the Noble Phantasms flung may vary greatly, but eventually, the sheer size of the barrage will mean something will connect to the desire effect unless the Phantasm is interrupted. Once this Gate is stopped by Gilgamesh, all used weapons will immediately return to his arks.

 **Enuma Elish:** _Star of Genesis Separating Heaven and Earth:_ A++

Ea, Gilgamesh's ultimate Noble Phantasm, the embodiment of the first sword, drilling from above and cutting through material space. Used without caution, it might pierce across Earth and destroy it.

 **Enkidu:** _The Chains of Heaven:_ A+

Powerful chains that are said to bind even gods, named after Gilgamesh's close comrade and sole true friend. It has been stated breaking free from them would require EX ranked strength, a miracle as no human being can achieve that level, not even a demigod. With them, Gilgamesh can crush an enemy or simply hold them in place for another kind of finisher.

 **Summon:** "Mwaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Mongrel! You must have used all your luck, just to be able to catch my attention!"

 **Battle Beginning:** "Mongrels! You offend the sight of your King!"

 **Victory:** (Folding arms and laughing maniacally) "FUHAHAHAHAHA!"

"This is the reason behind my right to rule!"

"Plummet into the abyss, now. For no one shall lament your absence."

"Arrogance is to be allowed to a sovereign. Not to a vermin like you!"

 **Defeat:** "Confound you...!"

"To lose, at the hands of a mere cur...!"

"Very well, I shall retreat for now!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "It is time for judgment. My Sword of Rupture will tear apart the world. Take this! Enuma Elish!"

 **Holy Grail:** "If it truly is a great treasure, then it's already mine. It is just a matter of walking to it and grabbing it. As for a wish, what could I receive that I could not achieve on my own?"

 **Birthday** : "Today? The day of your birth?" Fool! You should have told me one week in advance! Even the smallest celebration must be prepared properly!"

 **Event:** "Oh? Another festival for the masses? Very well. You have my permission to attend, mongrel."

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"King of Knights: Hah! I suppose it is an apt description. But even a King of Knights answers to a King of Kings. In due time, so she shall submit to me." (When you have Saber Artoria.)

"A mad dog is always fun to see run around, chasing his own shadow. But at the end, they still have to be put down." (When you have Assassin Lobo.)

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	10. Oh my Goddess!

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Aa! Megamisama!_ is the creation and intellectual property of Fujishima Kosuke and Kodansha.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten.**

* * *

 **Caster.**

 **Real Name:** Skuld.

 **Titles and Aliases:** The Future, Sku-chan.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Good.

 **Attribute** : Heaven.

 **Likes:** Her sister Belldandy, Icecream, Machines, Building Machines, Upgrading Machines.

 **Dislikes:** Her sister Urd, people trying to take Belldandy away from her.

 **Natural Enemy:** Oda Nobunaga, Archer Alcides, Caster Gilles De Rais.

 **Parameters:**

Strenght: E

Endurance: E

Agility: C

Magic: D

Luck: C

Noble Phantasm: B

 **Description:**

A true divine existence, one of the three Wyrd sisters from Norse myth. The three all seeing sisters controlling the fates of men. Skuld, the youngest, is a miracle which should not be possible to summon without a human host body to house the divine spirit… however, it would seem that, much like with Stheno and Euryale, Skuld's near complete lack of any actual godlike power putting her above the ranks of physical mortal achievements has allowed for this to happen.

Alas, knowledge of this fact hasn't made her any happier at all.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Item Creation (A):** While pitifully weak in physical combat, Caster is a genius gadgeteer beyond the reach of Earth's science. Out of mere household items, she can casually create advanced artificial intelligences, devices to debug flaws in the fabric of reality itself, combat vehicles and battle mecha, among others. Caster can also improve onto other Servants' Noble Phantasms as long as they are tech based. She is also an expert hacker and can easily infiltrate any web interface created by man. The rank is lowered by how many inventions of hers are not only goofy looking, but also goofy acting, even if ultimately still efficient.

 **Territory Creation (EX):** Caster is an agent of Heaven's Goddess Office, and one of its paramount keepers and As such, she is well used to establishing complicated, state of arts technomagical laboratories and workshops that go beyond humankind's capacity. Out of simple items found in an average Japanese mechanical workshop, she could design and implement a massive inner dimension for storage with several sublayers of reality to it, always in constant expansion. Out of all Casters, only the similarly divine Washu may compare to her in this regard. She also can improve and expand upon Territories and Workshops created by allies, whether they are magical or technological.

 **Riding (E-A):** While not a Saber or Rider, Caster developed an affinity for motor vehicles, whether of her own design or not, that makes her able to operate any sort of mechanical means of transportation, aerial, terrestrial or aquatic, peerlessly, granting her a Rank A in this skill for these vehicles. However, the rank is lowered to E when dealing with animal mounts. Dragons and Phantasmal Beasts are out of Skuld's range to ride, even though Belldandy and Urd were apt at it.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Divinity (A):** A pure born and bred Norse goddess, Skuld has not developed her powers yet, but her divine nature is still undeniable.

 **Water Transportation (C+):** This skill allows Skuld transport through any bodies of water at her avail, even if they happen to be as small as a half-full glass. The hotter the water is, the more efficient and fast the teleportation becomes. This skill is necessary for Caster's long distance movement unless she is using her devices, as she cannot assume an astral form due to being still alive.

 **Melee Weapons (D):** When forced to fight in close quarters, Caster can resort to three basic types of weapons she always carries on her person. The first is a mallet attached to her back, her default tool to pulverize bugs in the Midgard System. The second is a chainsaw she has labeled 'Texas Massacre-kun', loaded with infinite fuel. The third is a provision of seemingly endless Skuld Bombs, which are fairly weak on their own and mostly stun and stall the enemy. A self custom grenade launcher can be used to shoot these bombs faster and more efficiently compared to Caster's default hand tossing.

 **You! Are! An! Idiot! (E):** A manifestation of Caster's budding divinity, expressed through her rage and discomfort at others. She will shout on their face and mark them with words insulting and belittling the target, lowering their Concentration and Defense, although only very marginally so. These marks all over the target's face cannot be erased or deleted, not even by Caster herself. They also will show up through any painting or coverage the subject puts on their face. They only will disappear, along with the debuff effects, past one week.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Emissary of Yggdrasil (B):** Caster briefly accesses her old Yggdrasil databanks through a laptop and channels a massive blast of energy from the security systems of the Tree of Life, down onto the enemy. Not much energy can be drained without causing massive damage to the Earth itself, which lowers the Noble Phantasm's range. The discharge can be seen as a stylized tree-shaped bolt from above, descending like lightning and exploding.

 **Summon:** "Hu hu huh hu, I'm Skuld, Second Category Goddess, Limited! Ah? What's that? It doesn't sound too impressive? Shut up, of course it does as long as it says 'goddess'!"

 **Victory:** "Don't start crying now. You're going to look like a brat!"

"I'm not a boastful person… But in this case, I'd really like to be!"

 **Defeat:** "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…!"

"You have just earned great enemies up there!"

 _"Sentarou…"_

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Belldandy… Now I'll see you again…"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"The Greek Pantheon, sheesh… Is this for real? Even Urd looks classy in comparison…" (When you have Archer Artemis.)

"One existence whose power cannot be denied, not that it makes her any easier to get along with. As long as she and I are apart from each other, we won't be a mutual bother, it's better that way." (When you have Archer Ishtar or Lancer Ereshkigal.)

"Her theories are somewhat off the mark, but I still feel like I must respect her to some degree. There is something about her that I can't help but liking." (When you have Caster Blavatsky or Archer Blavtasky.)

"You… You aren't exactly like I remember you… What happened to you?!" (When you have Caster Skadi.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday, Master! Let's go to see the car races and eat icecream! It'llbe my treat!"

 **Event:** "Eh? Do you want me to go there with you? Will there be icecream?"

 **Holy Grail:** "A trivial trifle barely troubling my thoughts. The power of any manmade wish granter is nothing compared to the might of the Ultimate Force channeled through our relief office. It's better just to destroy it already and be done with it!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	11. Green and Evil All Over

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Spider-Man_ is the creation of Stan Lee and Steve Ditko and intellectual property of Marvel Comics.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven.**

* * *

 **Rider.**

 **True Identity:** Norman Virgil Osborn.

 **Other Aliases and Titles:** The Green Goblin, Iron Patriot.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Evil.

 **Attribute:** Sky.

 **Natural Enemy:** Spider-Man, Batman, The Joker.

 **Likes:** "Money, power, beautiful women… but above it all, the feeling of superiority over others…"

 **Dislikes:** "It has to be that damn Parker boy…"

 **Parameters:**

Strength: B

Endurance: B

Agility: B

Mana: D

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: B

 **Biography:**

Norman Osborn was a businessman under heavy pressure from his board of executives to develop a radical program of human enhancement in time, before a hostile company takeover were staged and his corporation, Oscorp, was divided and sold. Cracking under the stress, Osborn tested the formula on himself, going insane and unearthing his long repressed sociopathic tendencies. Already a shady entrepreneur, Osborn wore a garish costume and embarked into a campaign of city wide terror as the deranged Green Goblin, one that would bring him in conflict with the young masked vigilante known as Spider-Man.

Foiled time and time again by Spider-Man, the Goblin developed an intense hatred for the superhero; one only further fueled with Osborn learned his enemy was actually Peter Parker, the best friend of his son Harry. Launching a brutal personal vendetta against Parker, the Goblin eventually murdered the young man's girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, and then seemingly perished in a climactic battle against the enraged Spider-Man. However, Osborn would return years later from a self imposed exile in Europe, striking against Parker and his close ones with the resources of both Oscorp and the Goblin, proving himself as Spider-Man's most dangerous and bitter foe.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Riding:** B

Rider was a competent driver, but his ranking in this Class is due to his mastery of the Goblin Glider, a flying device of his own invention. A mechanical platform shaped like a gigantic metal bat, the Goblin Glider is a high speed performance, extremely maneuverable vehicle able to keep up with acrobatic fliers and superhumans. It also had a remote control function that would allow Rider to operate it even when separated from it, and an extensive system of weapons including homing missiles and a sharp front protuberance used to skewer and perforate opponents. Rider also has access to an earlier, smaller prototype shaped like a metallic witch's broomstick. Due to his upbringing in the lap of luxury, Rider also is trained in horse riding, however, he cannot ride dragons or Phantasmal Beasts.

 **Anti Magic:** D

Rider occasionally dabbled into the arcane arts, especially into a certain more far out interpretation of his legend told in the late sixties, and during the infamous Gathering of the Five (see Noble Phantasm.) However, his competence at this field was limited at best, impacting on his low rank in this Skill.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Information Erasure:** C

Norman Osborn was a manipulative, shrewd businessman with hundreds of connections across the world, and evidence of his crimes, both those of an industrial nature and those committed as the Green Goblin, was easily disposed of. Even after been publically outed as the supervillain, Osborn managed to convince the masses of his innocence and latch onto a hefty position as the leader of the United States' security agencies. Whenever the Green Goblin leaves the scene, knowledge of his identity as the Goblin will vanish from those who fought him even if he was unmasked during the Goblin; should they see him again in his civilian guise, he won't be recognized, except by those with A or higher levels of Eye of the Mind, or those who knew his secret in life. However, they will still remember the Goblin himself, his costume and mannerisms, although they still can be easily fooled by doppelgangers, a tactic Osborn was fond of setting up. Regardless, this still lowers the Skill's rank accordingly.

 **Golden Rule:** B

Osborn had no real problems with money after adopting his more cutthroat, criminal lifestyle. While previously competitors could pressure his companies and pull him to the brink of bankruptcy, after assuming a criminal way of life he would just murder his rivals and seize his assets, either openly or discreetly. In either case, Rider has global resources now, so he can get access to plenty of money and employees no matter where a Grail War is being fought.

 **Laughing Mad- Legacy of Evil:** A

Upon assuming the identity of the Green Goblin, Norman Osborn assumed a much more deranged attitude towards life, abandoning himself to the role. Even although the path of supervillainy has cost him his company and his son Harry's life at some point or another, Osborn will inevitably be drawn towards the green tights of the Goblin sooner or later, especially if Spider-Man is around. Rider's villainous parfernalia includes a super serum formula granting him enhanced strength, intellect, stamina, endurance and a healing factor that saved his life when he was impaled through the chest by his own Goblin Glider. He also has several weapons at his avail, like gloves that can shoot laser blasts and blinding flares, a gas that knocks others unconscious or cancels their extra senses (like Spider-Man's spider sense), throwing metal bats, and his most famous weapons, the infamous Pumpkin Bombs, grenades shaped like Halloween decorations.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **The Gathering of the Five- Mad Ritual for a New World's Birth:** B

Once, Osborn gathered five remarkable individuals, including himself, for the purposes of a mystic meeting under the auspices of the mysterious Brotherhood of the Scriers. This ritual would grant each of the participants one of the following gifts: Insight, Power, Madness, Youth, and Death. This Noble Phantasm is a recreation of that keystone moment in Rider's life. For it to be activated, there must be at least for subjects around Rider himself. The area around them shifts and bolts from above strike Rider and the four selected extra targets. The results are randomized for each application of the Noble Phantasm. Each attendant to the ritual gets one of the five gifts for themselves.

Insight grants permanent A ranked Clairvoyance and Eye of the Mind (True.) Power brings all Parameters and Skills two ranks up, also permanently. Madness grants a permanent and constant A ranked Mad Enhancement and Mind Pollution that can only be removed through the use of two Command Spells. Youth brings the target to a much earlier stage of their lives, also permanently, and depending on the target can render them powerless or reinvigorating them greatly. Death annihilates the target, although in the case of Beast Class Servants it only disposes of a 20% of their current Health. However, this ritual can kill a Beast left with only 20% or less left of Health.

Since the events are random, there is a chance of five Rider will just kill himself through this Noble Phantasm, which makes him considerably reluctant to perform it.

 **Summon:** "Heh. Heh, heh heh, heh, heh…! Who dares calling forth the Green Goblin? You've got a lot of galls, Kid... or should I call you _Master_ …?"

 **Start of Battle:** "Heads up! Here I come!"

 **Victory:** "You dolt!"

"What is the paltry life of a gnat like you to someone like me?"

(Laughing maniacally) "AH HA HA HA HA HA!"

 **Defeat:** "Parker! This is all your fault!"

"Damn you! I'll hound you to the ends of Earth! I'll make your life a living Hell… just like I did to Spider-Man!"

"Don't tell... Harry…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I should have been a god…!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"The Napoleon of Crime, do you say? Well, well, I'm afraid I have one thing or two to say about that…!" (When you have Archer Moriarty.)

"A lovely sense of fashion, and a lovable attitude. Why, then, should I hate you so much…?" (When you have Caster Mephistopheles.)

"Oh, a young, idealistic man ever ready to save others, sacrificing himself no matter what. You remind me so much of someone, boy… SOMEONE I HATE!" (When you have Archer Young Emiya Shirou.)

 **Birthday:** "Have a Happy Birthday, young Master. Enjoy it to its fullest. You never know, it could be the last one."

 **Event:** "What is this? Hm, it seems interesting…! Let's check it out, there may be something to savage from this mess…!"

 **Holy Grail:** "I should ask for Parker's death… but no, that's something I have to do myself, with my two hands…! Let's see, let's see, unlimited power, yes, that is good… Huh? A curse? It will ravage the world, you say? Even better then…!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	12. Black Sakura

_Fate Grand Order_ and _Fate/Stay Night_ are the creations and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve.**

* * *

 **Avenger.**

 **Real Name:** Matou Sakura, born Tohsaka Sakura.

 **Alignment:** Formerly Lawful Good, then Chaotic Evil, now Chaotic Neutral.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Natural Enemy:** Matou Shinji, Matou Zouken, Tohno Akiha.

 **Parameters:**

Strenght: E

Endurance: B

Agility: E

Mana: EX

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: EX

 **Likes:** Sempai, Cooking, Rider Medusa, Consensual Caring Sex, Hand Holding, Soap Operas.

 **Dislikes:** Being raped, being raped by worms, being left behind.

 **Biography:**

This is the existence of Matou Sakura granted access to the Throne of Heroes by her connection to Angra Mainyu itself. In another world, this young woman would become the template for the Moon Cell's Artificial Intelligence Sakura and her offshoots, the Sakura Five. In a third world, she became the host for goddess Parvati. In this one, she became the vessel for something far darker and deadlier. The corrupted essence of the Holy Grail, the tainted puppet of All The Evils in the World.

Normally, summoning her would be like summoning a Beast itself, bringing forth one of the Enemies of Mankind, a guaranteed omen of doom. However, for the sake of her Chaldea Master, who reminds her of her Sempai, and for the chance of seeing her Sempai himself again, she might be able to control the black forces within herself just to save the human race instead.

Fight on, Sakura!

 **Class Skills:**

 **Avenger:** D

The state of an Avenger Servant as one that gathers people's hatred and grudges onto oneself. It is easier for one to accumulate hatred and resentment with this Skill. The rate of mana generation becomes higher when receiving damage.

In life, Sakura was a loving and forgiving woman until too past her breaking point, and it is difficult for her to hold serious grudges for long. Hence the rank of this Skill is lowered greatly.

 **Mana Replenishment:** A+

One's magical energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.

An optimal viable conduit for the revival of the Greater Grail, Sakura had a large pool of mana resources and a natural body talent to channel it. When applied to a revenge focused objective, or even to protecting others through violence, this Skill becomes practically unstoppable.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Imaginary Numbers:** A

A special type of magecraft Sakura was born with an affinity to, allowing her access to an alternative plane of subspace out of normal time and reality. She barely has any understanding of how it works, having not been trained properly by the Matous, but somehow, instinctively, she has an easy access and control over it regardless, even if it still limited in versatility. Through this Skill Sakura can drop others into subspace and theoretically travel through it and into different levels of reality, although she has never tried this before.

 **Shadow Magic:** C

Sakura can create small creatures made of shadow components and send them as mindless attack drones after her enemies. She has a limited range of control over them once unleashed, depending on her emotional state at the time. These beings are relatively easy to dispatch compared to the true Shadow born from Angra Mainyu, but Sakura can keep producing them almost permanently and with no pause thanks to her high mana pool.

 **Cooking with the Emiya Family:** C

A support skill used to boost the physical and mental capacities of allies through the gift of generous meals skillfully prepared. While Sakura is a gifted chef in her own right, and remarkably so with Chinese dishes, she still is not in the same level as young Emiya Shirou, from whom she learned this Skill through considerable observation and dedication. Hence her rank at it is fairly lower than Emiya's.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **The Shadow- Birth of a Dark God:** EX

When her mind and spirit finally cracked under the physical and mental assault of Matou Zouken, Sakura turned herself into a willing vessel for Angra Mainyu, Persian god of Evil. By using this Noble Phantasm, Sakura taps into the Greater Grail itself and unlocks the mindless manifestation of this force, a rampaging inky mass that plows ahead, not harming Sakura but consuming everyone else in its path. Servants can be assimilated and used as darkened puppets. Servants with high degrees of Divinity and Willpower are broken down to the most basic components and feed the Grail. Sakura herself can be damaged while using this Phantasm, if you get around the fast moving Shadow, and this is the best way to dispel it quickly.

Most Servant weapons, including Noble Phantasms, are completely powerless against The Shadow. Artoria's Excalibur blast at full power can seal it back, but not outright destroying it. Reality warping Noble Phantasms of EX Rank like The Joker's _Emperor Joker_ and Thanos' _Infinity Gauntlet_ can destroy it permanently.

 **Summon** : "Sempai… Sempai… Oh. Oh, dear. It would seem I mistook you for someone else… Then… Are you, um, my Master?"

 **Start of Battle:** "I'm… not too sure I can do this… But I'll do it anyway! For Master! And Sempai!"

 **Victory:** "And so the darkness closes around you…"

"The triumph of the Shadow can't be stopped…"

"All The World's Evil, pouring down you, into you… Can't you feel them? Squirming inside, eating you from within…"

 **Defeat:** "The darkness closes around me…"

"It's okay. In the end, it's better this way."

"The suffering ends at last…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I'm… so afraid…"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. And then spill all out the blessed cup, spreading curses all over the world. We will assimilate everything into ourselves! Angra Mainyu!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Neesan..." (When you have Archer Ishtar or Rider Ishtar.)

 _"... Neesan?!"_ (When you have Lancer Ereshkigal.)

"Rider… It IS you...!" (When you have Rider Medusa.)

"I don't find this to be very funny, Master." (When you have Lancer Parvati, Moon Cancer BB, Alter Ego Meltlilith or Alter Ego Passionlip.)

(Breaks down sobbing without even saying anything.) (When you have Archer Young Emiya.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday, Master! I have taken the liberty of baking a cake for you… I hope you won't mind…"

 **Event:** "This reminds me of… Well, no, Grandfather and Niisan never took me anywhere. I must be remembering another girl's past. Regardless, let's go, Master!

 **Holy Grail:** "It is what I aim for, of course. Funny enough, I used not to think too much of it, or even want it at all. But now…"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	13. Master of Fear

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Batman_ is the creation of Bob Kane and Bill Finger and intellectual property of DC Comics.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen.**

* * *

 **Lancer.**

 **True Identity:** Jonathan Crane.

 **Other Names and Aliases:** The Scarecrow, Master of Fear, Pharaoh of Phobias, Squishy.

 **Gender** : Male.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Evil.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Likes:** Books, Reading, Psychological Torture.

 **Dislikes** : Bullies, Strong Beautiful Tall Men.

 **Natural Enemy:** Batman, Superman, any Robin, any Batgirl, Larfleeze, The Headless Horseman.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: E

Endurance: D

Agility: C+

Mana: B

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: C

 **Biography:**

Born in the deep south of the United States, Jonathan Crane was abandoned by his father at birth, and his mother died shortly after. Crane was raised by his religious fanatic grandmother, a woman who would often hit the boy and lock him in a barn with crows to punish the evil she perceived in him. The local children would also mock and harass him, making fun of his gaunt figure and shy behavior. After discreetly arranging the deaths of his grandmother and one of his tormentors, the now adolescent Crane fled to Gotham City after graduation, landing a teaching position at a university. While a highly talented professor in Psychology, his strange mannerisms, increasingly unstable behavior, and reclused lifestyle led to even more scorn from his new peers and students alike.

Killing a colleague and securing his prized book collection, Crane turned to the life of crime as the Scarecrow, a figure dressed in a straw filled ragged costume, a symbol of poverty and fear, selling his services as a killer for hire. Batman, the urban vigilante, stopped his criminal scheme and sent him to the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Crane would escape reclusion several times, being foiled by Batman and his allies over and over, which made him develop an obsessive hatred and fear for him.

There is no consensus on the circumstances of Crane's death; while some historians say he was murdered by the Joker so he could secure Crane's fear toxins in a plan to drive Superman insane, others say the Crane killed by the Joker was just an impostor posing as him.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Magic Resistance:** E

Lancer had no major encounters with magic during his human life, granting him a very low rank in this Skill.

 **Territory Creation:** A

Despite being no Caster, Lancer might have qualified for that Class as well, and retains a high degree on this Skill. An enthusiastic academic of fear and psychological stress, he is rather apt at settling laboratories where to perform twisted experiments on humans and the development of his macabre fear toxins. These laboratories are also equipped with plenty of deadly traps set for anyone who would break into them without Lancer's authorization.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Martial Artist** : D

Often bullied and harassed because of his physical weakness, Lancer trained himself rigorously in the Crane style of kung fu during his teen years to compensate. While his scrawny physique hampers him by lacking enough bulk as to be highly effective, he's still proved to be a brief match for the Batman in martial arts, and adrenaline bursts make him able to stall enemies stronger than him for short spans of time. He combined these arts with a 'bizarre violent dancing' inspired by the story of Sleepy Hollow's Ichabod Crane, making him an unpredictable whirlwind in close quarters combat. For long reach Lancer relies on the weapon that merits his inclusion in this Class, a very long scythe used to behead his adversaries.

 **Animal Dialogue** : C

The ability to communicate with animals and extract information from them or making them do your biding. While in Lancer's case this Skill is limited to birds, it's still fairly effective. A skilled self-taught bird trainer, Crane would often employ murders of crows, ravens, magpies and other birds, including ones rigged with bombs to explode, against his enemies.

 **Spreading Terror: The Scarecrow's Revenge:** A

The main and most popular element of Scarecrow's legend was his resourcefulness in the creation of means to spread fear and horror in a mass and personal scale. An urban terrorist and accomplished mental manipulator, Lancer can reduce hardened men to gibberish whimpering wrecks with a few lines of dialogue, and create intricate death traps to break others mentally until their bodies are sliced or cleaved apart by the weapons placed in the trap. A master of kidnapping for baiting, once embarked in a campaign his obsession turns him nearly unstoppable, regardless of the physical damage he may absorb.

Lancer's favorite weapon is his patented Fear Gas, an airborne toxin that causes violent reactions of irrational fear in others. This gas can be distributed in a plethora of ways, from canisters of aerosol to Lancer's favored skull shaped bombs. Whoever inhales it will experience constant hideous, augmented visions of their personal nightmares and phobias. Failing this, Lancer can also emit soundwaves that strike at the brain and release fear impulses by hitting the hilt of his scythe against the floor; the devices to broadcast the signal are stored within the weapon, and the waves can be stopped by breaking the scythe. The fear brought upon Lancer's victims can render them defenseless against deadly attacks, cause cardiac arrest, or simply prompt them into suicide. A ranked Bravery and Willpower are necessary to overcome both means of fear diffusion; however, Lancer also has access to another variety of gas that takes all manners of fear away from its targets. It can be used to give allies A ranked Bravery or to make enemies suicidally overconfident, all the better to lure them into traps and ambushes.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Scarebeast- Sublimation of a Violent Dream:** C

Through experimenting a new formula on himself while working for The Penguin, Crane once developed a serum to transform oneself into a hulking, rampaging, Berserker-like brute nicknamed the Scarebeast. Accessing this Noble Phantasm grants Lancer A ranked strength, C+ ranked Endurance, and a B ranked Mad Enhancement to brutally pummel enemies with his bare hands and feet, but also implies a tremendous mana pull on the Master and takes the Territory Creation and Animal Dialogue skills as long as the Noble Phantasm remains in use.

 **The Yellow Ring- Chosen of Fear:** B

Briefly, after the Batman rejected the Yellow Power Ring marking him as Earth's representative for the Sinestro Corps, the ring attached itself to Crane, who found it a delightful tool in his task of spreading terror. The ring is one of the most powerful weapons in the universe, able to create any hard light creations the user may think of, and while wielded and powered it can bestow flight, near invulnerability, powerful force shields, enhanced speed, and an empathic link with the Guardians of the Sinestro Corps. However, the ring will soon find Crane an unsuitable host and abandon him, leaving a short window of time for use of this Noble Phantasm.

 **Summon:** "Are you afraid of what you are summoned? You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Of course, I am Fear, but I'll be needing a lab assistant regardless..."

 **Start of Battle:** "Cower! Cower in fear!"

"Your fight or flee instincts should be kicking in right now. My clinical opinion? Flee!"

 **Victory:** "Hroo! HRAAA!"

"Commencing the report on this test subject's reactions to the experiment…"

"My diagnose is… death from fear! Hya ha ha ha ha!"

 **Defeat:** "So! I know fear again…! Excellent, excellent…!"

"Doctor Crane is not right now… But, if you would like to leave a message…?"

"Please… Don't hit me anymore…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Y-You bully…!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "I will show you Fear… in a cloud of mist!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Were you the first man to ever experience fear, First of Heroes, First of Kings?" (When you have Archer Gilgamesh or Caster Gilgamesh.)

"A dark crusader of the night, a knight in shadows, huh…" (When you have Assassin Kiritsugu.)

"I once dealt with the League of Shadows. They betrayed me and left me on my own before the Bat. I cannot say I have a very high opinion of you." (When you have any Assassin Hassan.)

 **Birthday:** "The anniversary of your birth? And what of it? Those dates hold no real meaning whatsoever."

 **Event:** "Oh, so many have gathered at that spot. Master, this might be an unique chance to gather data on a massive crowd…"

 **Holy Grail:** "Ridiculous. I'm a man of science. I have no time to ponder on such mystic foolishness…"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	14. Prehistoric Man

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _The Flintstones_ is the creation and intellectual property of Hanna Barbera, Cartoon Network and Time Warner.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen.**

* * *

 **Saber.**

 **True Identity:** Fred Flintstone.

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Good.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Likes:** Food, his mate, his daughter, Bowling, Fermented Juice.

 **Dislikes:** Large aggressive reptiles, his mother in law, starving.

 **Natural Enemy:** Paul Bunyan.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: C+

Endurance: B-

Agility: D-

Mana: C

Luck: D+

Noble Phantasm: A

 **Biography:**

Before the times of Gilgamesh, before the times of the Silver Millennium, primitive men roamed Earth. They achieved some sort of civilization, its legacy now lost to the mists of time. However, in our collective consciousness, some of it still remains. Fred was a denizen of that era, one of many, a veteran of the Great War against the Cro-Magnons. There he met his best lifelong friend Barney, and several others whom he'd later bond with in one of the first secret societies of mankind, the Great Lodge of the Water Buffalo.

A loving family guy and Grand Dad, Fred bore the weapon men would use before swords were invented, the first predecessor of modern handheld weapons, the wooden club. He would use it as his main weapon of choice when his reptilian pet and that of his neighbor were kidnapped by a strange man from another time who would take them to the future, so he could experiment on them. During his quest to rescue them, Fred would mean a weaker, far more sophisticated man from the same time period as the madman, who regardless would strike an odd friendship with Fred and help him in his pursuit (see also- Rider George Jetson.)

 **Class Skills:**

 **Riding:** B

Saber was one of the first men to ever master a man-built vehicle, in his case a large car-like artifact propelled with the use of nothing but his legs and feet. He has an instinctive affinity with all later vehicles derived from this original prototype, and as such he can drive land vehicles manufactured long past his time reasonably well, if recklessly. He can also mount and ride large animals; however, phantasmal beasts and dragons are beyond his capacities.

 **Magic Resistance:** E

Saber had no actual experience with magic during his lifetime, as the Gazoo entity he made friends with (see below) derived his seemingly magical powers from highly advanced science instead. As a result, his rank in this Skill is very low.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Animal Dialogue:** B

While Saber cannot understand what animals say, he can order them around and they will obey him. Saber can even force animals to play the functions of standard household items, like garbage shredders or clotheslines, for him. This was a common ability of humans around Saber's times.

 **Master of Bowling:** A

One of Saber's favorite pastimes was gathering with other fellow cavemen after hours (see Rock Quarry Worker below) and playing a crude preliminary variation of the sport we would later come to call bowling. Saber took great pride on his skill at this game, and he can customize it as a combat tool. Saber will always carry with himself, not only his club, but also a ball made of solid rock he will throw at his enemies with unerring accuracy. While not powerful enough as to qualify as a Noble Phantasm, the ball is hard hitting and can be thrown several times in a row with minimal expending of mana.

 **Rock Quarry Worker:** B

Around the time of Saber's birth, tribes settling into sedentary villages began grasping the concepts of elementary currency and work for hire. Saber was employed in the first rock quarry in the world under one Mister Slate to sustain his family. As such, he is reasonably skilled at working on the extraction of rock and minerals and the building of structures on those very grounds and using those very materials. The rank is lowered because, unlike Bunyan, Fred will prefer not overworking the natural environment he is surrounded by.

 **Zany Scheme:** C-

Saber fancied himself a master of the Batman Gambit and the get rich quick plan, tackling a variety of odd side jobs and personal enterprises in an attempt to get away from the rock quarry. These gambles would often work remarkably well at first but invariably would backfire on him, taking him back to Square Zero. Saber was a secret agent, a famous singer (twice), a restaurant owner, an actor, a cowboy, and several other different things in his lifetime, allowing him a wide degree of diverse lateral abilities. This skill differs from Expert at Many Specialties because Saber cannot learn new skills developed beyond his time (for instance, he is unable to become a computer programmer) and is restricted to those already invented during his lifespan.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **The Great Gazoo- Exile from a Superior World:** A

Late in life, Fred and Barney ran into the crashed spacecraft of a renegade alien scientist fleeing from his own people. The creature's true name was too complex for these primal minds to grasp, so he came to be known as Gazoo by them. While initially just using them for his own goals, Gazoo eventually came to becoming genuinely fond of the two brutes and would help them out when he could be bothered with and they called for him.

Somehow, Gazoo's super evolved awareness remains linked to Fred's to this day, and when Fred calls for him, Gazoo will come to his aid. In battle, this most often manifests as Gazoo, invisible to anyone but Saber and his Master, appears hovering over the battlefield in a small UFO and blasts at the enemy with a much lesser variant of the weapon he invented and caused him to be shunned by his own people, a powerful detonator that could conceivably rupture the fabric of the universe itself.

This Noble Phantasm only can be used once a day.

 **Summon:** "Yabba-Dabba-Doo!"

 **Start of Battle:** "Yabba! Dabba! Doo!"

 **Victory:** "YABBA-DABBA-DOO!"

 **Defeat:** "WILMAAAAAA!"

"D'oh!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Ugh… Ugh…"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "GAZOO…!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Grrr… Grrrrrr!" (When you have Archer Gilgamesh.)

"Heh, heh, Bamm-Bamm." (When you have Rider Young Alexander, Caster Negi Springfield or Archer Child Gilgamesh.)

"Pebbles! Pebbles…" (When you have Caster Nursery Rhyme, Assassin Jack the Ripper, Saber Benienma, or Lancer Santa Alter Lily Jeanne.)

 **Birthday: "** Happy Birthday!"

 **Event:** "Yabba-Dabba-Doo!"

 **Holy Grail:** "Wilma… Pebbles…"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	15. Letters from Hell

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _From Hell_ is the creation and intellectual property of Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen.**

* * *

 **Assassin.**

 **True Identity:** Sir William Gull.

 **Other Aliases and Titles:** Jack the Ripper.

 **Alignment:** Lawful Evil.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Likes:** Freemasonics, the pride of serving his country, some occasional hard partying on the side.

 **Dislikes:** Blackmail, betrayals, discrimination.

 **Natural Enemy:** Sherlock Holmes, Batman.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: D

Endurance: E

Agility: E

Luck: A

Mana: B

Noble Phantasm: A

 **Biography:**

One of many individuals accused through history of being the infamous Jack the Ripper, first of all modern serial killers. Either he was a decent, affable doctor who fought for the equality of men and women in the field of medicine and made important advances in the diagnose of nervous anorexia and other ailings, or he was a twisted fiend engaging into decadency and massacre during the dark hours past his respectable line of public work.

His dark legend says he scouted the London nights with a shady coachman, searching for young prostitutes for the edge of his knife. He either acted out of his own volition or as the armed weapon of a conspiracy to protect the honor of Queen Victoria's grandson, a notorious libertine and Gull's own partner in nocturnal escapades. That will remain a mystery forever, and so he acts as a kind and respectable elder, an extremely helpful soul who will always provide wise advice. However, at times, a vicious and cruel side of him emerges, although never aimed at his Master, but towards those he considers his and the Master's lessers.

Is that fiend the real William Gull, or is he just playing the role he is supposed to uphold?

He is not the same existence as the wraith embodying London's dead children, or the Berserker representing those murders' mysteries. He is a man who really existed as such, but whose legacy has been tainted by that dark vision of him… if that was not his true nature the whole time.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Presence Concealment:** A+

He struck like a shadow amidst the fog, a silent murderer always a step ahead of everyone. Despite being slow in battle and in visible motion, Assassin can sneak behind nearly anyone and retreat just as swiftly as soon as the enemy's attention is not placed directly on them. This extends to the Servant's senses to feel others' astral presences, and Assassin's astral form is impossible to detect until he's directly on you, even if you have a high awareness related skill. Assassin needs this as he is all but useless in long ranged combat and needs to get very close to his enemy for his sole weapons of choice, his knives, to work.

 **Disengage:** A+

The ability to escape conflict or pursuit without suffering from any further damage but that received up to that moment. Sir William was an accomplished master of getaways… if he ever was Jack the Ripper, and could easily leave the scene of gruesome, elaborate crimes all through a bloody killing spree, always escaping the attention of the Scotland Yard forces on his trail. This Skill is further compounded and boosted by Gull's _False Burial_ Personal Skill, detailed below.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Innocent Monster:** D

But, did he really do it? Even when confronted by his Master on the subject, he won't answer clearly. Perhaps he doesn't remember himself. Whether the case, he has been summoned as Jack the Ripper, and since he is supposed to do whatever his superiors expect from him, he will carry himself as such as perfectly as possible. For all intents and purposes, he is Jack the Ripper now, regardless of whether he was before or not, However, he also understands secrecy is part and parcel of this dark duty, and such will not resent those others who also would claim the title. It has never been a matter of pride.

He will not lose himself completely into the legend and will keep his civilian identity and presence of mind while out of combat, which reduces the Skill's rank.

 **Information Erasure:** A

Aided by the mighty hand of the English monarchy and the secret lodge he belonged to, Assassin could always hide all tracks of his misdeeds. Even the police would cover evidence of Sir Gull's horrible murders. Or so we suspect. If he didn't do it, that information has been erased as well. Once he has left the scene of a successful crime, Assassin's face and general appearance will not be remembered by anyone who saw him, and all physical evidence of his identity but the bodies themselves will disappear as well. This includes even modern evidence such as photographies, visual footage and audio recordings.

 **False Burial:** C

It has been discussed whether Assassin really died at the age he was officially reputed to or not, and some claim he died later of syphilis, the same sickness that claimed his protégé, the young Duke of Clarence. These theories say Gull's family instead interred a local mendicant in his place, and gave him a secret burial when he perished afterwards from a shameful illness that could not be made public. This Skill, then, allows Assassin to fake his demise through a fading likeness of his own body, which will fool any Servants without the Eye of the Mind or Clairvoyance Skills. This can be used to make the enemy lower their guard and lead them into ambushes or surprise attacks.

 **Medic to the Royalty:** A

A support skill that allows Sir Gull, as a gifted and excellently educated physician, to restore energy and health to the whole of his party without the need for a Command Spell. The Skill increases to A+ when he is healing Servants or Masters with direct links to royalty, like King Arthur or Emperor Nero. However, demigods don't receive this extra effect even when associated to royalty, as Assassin prided himself a rational man with no ties to Paganism.

This Skill also weakens Assassin when he has to move against kings, queens, princes or princesses, lowering all his skills one rank, as he feels himself indebted to royalty in general. However, once again, this effect doesn't apply to royals sporting Divinity either.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Monster of Whitechapel:** D-A

Not being a wraith and not being connected to the underbelly of London itself, Sir Gull could not perform the same manipulation of the mist to generate a proper stage for his crimes, like his child counterpart could. However, as long as he is acting by night, he can kill all sources of light around himself, fully blinding his target and any surrounding observers, but allowing him to see as plainly as during broad daylight. Any and all female Servants caught in this Noble Phantasm lose Disengage or the ability to dematerialize as long as the Noble Phantasm is active; male Servants can escape it with far more ease.

While the Noble Phantasm is active, Assassin's Strength and Endurance raise to C, without the sanity toll of a Mad Enhancement. The scenario is conductive for the perpetration of a brutal murder, but only one victim can be targeted at a time. Church relics ranked less than A- stop working during the Noble Phantasm's activation, and sexually active Servants of either gender receive double damage should Assassin's knife hit them.

This Noble Phantasm can't be used during daytime.

 **Summon:** "It is my pleasure. Doctor William Gull, at your service. I shall assist you to the best of my capacities."

 **Start of Battle:** "For the Queen. For the Prince. For England."

 **Victory:** "What doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God?"

 **Defeat:** "I didn't… do it…"

"Yes… It was me…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Truth, falsehood… Nothing matters anymore…"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "Dear Inspector Abberline. I write you from Hell to tell you of my latest murder…"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Ah, a detective. A physician on crime, in a way. Both your line of work and mine involve diagnosing and prescribing, after all. But you will see, Detective, there is no cure for what I am." (When you have Ruler Sherlock Holmes or Avenger Batman.)

"A kindred soul, perhaps… Or should I say two…?" (When you have Berserker Jekyll and Hyde.)

"Oh ho ho. I don't mind. It's okay, really. If I have no real stake on the title, it is all yours. If I do, I cannot make it public either. Go ahead, enjoy the recognition. No, you really can't enjoy anything but the killing, can you? Too bad. That is the real difference between us." (When you have Assassin of Black or False Berserker.)

 **Birthday:** "May you have the birthday of a king, Master. Tonight, I will take you on a tour of the best this city has to offer. That is my promise."

 **Event:** "Ah, I have always enjoyed a good gathering of gentlemen. Come forth, Master. We shall have a remarkably pleasant time together."

 **Holy Grail:** "What a blasphemous thing to consider. No, no, Master, I will not partake of it. I will not resort to it to achieve my goals. However, it would make a fine decoration for the main hall of our lodge."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	16. Bald is Beautiful

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Dragon Ball_ is the creation and intellectual property of Toriyama Akira and Shueisha.

 _Dragon Ball Abridged_ is the creation of Team Four Star.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen.**

* * *

 **Berserker.**

 **True Identity:** Nappa.

 **Other Titles and Aliases:** Mr. Clean, Vegeta's Dumbass Friend, Nappa the Royal Vizier, General Nappa, Commander-in-Chief of the Saiyan Army, Citizen Nappa (only by himself), Hollywood Producer.

 **Attribute:** Star.

 **Alignment:** Neutral Evil.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Likes:** Raw meat, brawls, raiding and ravaging alien worlds.

 **Dislikes:** Being bested in battle, complicated plans.

 **Natural Enemy:** Son Goku.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: A+

Endurance: A

Agility: B+

Mana: D

Luck: D+

Noble Phantasm: A

 **Biography:**

Born in Planet Vegeta, serving King Vegeta, and charged with looking after the King's promising only son, young Prince Vegeta, Nappa was one of the highest ranked warriors of the Saiyan species, warmongering barbarians mostly employed by despotic alien emperors King Cold and his sadistic son Freezer. Nappa was not very smart or clever, but made up for it with an overwhelming physical power and an intense loyalty to his King and the Prince.

When Freezer began fearing the power of the Saiyans might threaten his rule, he personally destroyed planet Vegeta, leaving only a small amount of survivors stranded in space. Nappa and Vegeta were two of such, being in a raid somewhere else during their homeworld's destruction, which was officially blamed on a freak asteroid storm. Nappa and Vegeta kept on working for Freezer during years, until they were sent to a planet called Earth to retrieve a fellow Saiyan named Kakarrot, now adopted by an Earthling and renamed Son Goku. Goku and his friends faced Nappa and Vegeta, who were out to conquer Earth and destroy its population in their search for the wish granting Dragon Balls. During this massive battle, Nappa caused the deaths of Goku's allies Chaotzu, Yamcha, Tien Shin Han and Piccolo, and nearly killed his son Gohan. Enraged, Goku easily bested and crippled Nappa, who was then murdered by Vegeta without a second thought, as Nappa was of no usefulness to him anymore.

It has been said, once a wish was made on the Dragon Balls to revive all those Vegeta had killed off, much later, that wish also included Nappa, who turned to a more peaceful life as a Hollywood entertainment producer afterwards. Whether this little known aspect of Goku's legend actually ever came to happen or not remains a mystery, but as a Berserker Servant, Nappa seems contented to accept it as a truth.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Mad Enhancement:** D

Nappa is not really crazy or prone to extreme fits of rage, although he will easily lose his composure and fly off the handle if the flow of a battle starts going against him. Regardless, his crude, brutal and reckless fighting style is fitting for the effects of Mad Enhancement, as he did not have much technique or skill to lose in trade for the stats boost in the first place.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Flight:** B

Berserker can fly easily on his own power with minimal mana consumption, although due to the limitations of the Grail system he cannot fly anywhere as fast as he could in life. While flying, he will leave a fiery trail blazing behind him, which will burn anyone who is in contact with it until it dissipates after a few seconds.

 **Alien Scouter:** A

Standard battlefield equipment given to every soldier in Freezer's forces. These scouters can read all the stats on an enemy; for the purposes of this Skill this translates as Berserker being able to analyze all Parameters of an enemy Servant, and discern their Class, from a mere glance. This is a valuable tool when facing against an unknown opponent, and exceeds the capacities of most magically trained Masters to gather intelligence on another Magus' Servant.

 **Master of Chi:** A

The Saiyan forces Berserker worked for trained their soldiers in the gathering and release of inner energy, the kind Earthlings would call _chi_ , for the purpose of powering their bodies up, allowing flight, increasing battle reflexes, and granting battle auras that flare all around Berserker whenever he grows furious, shattering the ground around him and burning anyone in the immediate vicinity and who is not as strong or stronger than him. This power also can be shot around to devastating effort, and Berserker can destroy huge areas surrounding him by unleashing a massive instant discharge with nothing but a snap of his fingers. Another favorite tactic of Berserker is simply shooting blast after blast of chi from the palms of his hands.

 **Achievements in Ignorance:** C-

As noted before, Berserker was hardly an enlightened soul, but he could display a streetwise blunt craftiness about him at times. While never able to come up with complex schemes on his own, he could recognize a good plan to follow when he saw one, and would stick to it even if it meant following others around, as long as the promise of ulterior benefit for himself remained an option. He also is surprisingly savvy about the ways of the entertainment business and actually can recognize the basis for good storytelling that appeals to the masses, which he might have used to become a successful movie producer. Probably.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Break Cannon:** A

Berserker will open his mouth hugely and fire an immensely powerful blue beam of energy out of it, similar to those Saiyans can shoot in their Great Ape forms, to pierces through his foe's defenses. He calls this his ultimate move and only uses it as a last resort before his Oozaru transformation. He made use of it in his battle with Son Goku, although there it proved being insufficient for the task.

 **Oozaru- The Hidden Power of the Saiyan Race** : A

Berserker's species held a special, unique quality to their humanoid phisiology. When bathed by the light reflected on a full moon, they would grow in size, along with their raw strenght, and turn into gigantic, brutish hairy ape-like creatures called Oozaru. Berserker doesn't need to wait for a full moon night to enter this state, as Freezer's empire developed a special device for the tyrant's Saiyan warriors to employ at any given time, creating a brief lasting artificial moon over the battlefield.

In this state, Berserker's Endurance pumps up to A+, his Agility climbs to A+ as well, and while he grows into a much bigger target, he gains a limited C ranked Magic Endurance, A+ Battle Continuation, and A+ Bravery, turning him into a relentless, nearly unstoppable fighting machine. Even if he's killed while in this state, he will just revive, reverted back to regular Nappa.

This Noble Phantasm only can be used once a week.

 **Summon:** "How do you do. I'm Nappa! Behold, the terror you've called upon this pathetic world! And remember, you're my servant from now on!"

 **Start of Battle:** "Master! What does the scouter say about their power level? Bah, forget it! It's way lower than mine anyway!"

 **Victory:** "You never stood a chance! Fool!"

"I'm not one for fancy victory speeches. That was more like Vegeta's thing."

"I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say!"

 **Defeat:** "How could you... An insect like you..."

"Damn you...! I'm a Saiyan warrior...!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I'll come back as a ghost! And haunt you...!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "BREAK! CANNON!"

"I'll show you a really neat trick, now..."

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"The Princess, huh... No, no, of course I respect her. You've got to hand it to her old man, he really had style..." (When you have Caster Lala Satalin Deviluke.)

"Oh, hey, I have heard of that guy! Step aside, Master! I've got to pick a fight with him, right now!" (When you have Assassin Lobo.)

"This clown in red and blue underwear? Is he the one who defeated Kakarrot, really?!" (When you have Saver Superman.)

 **Birthday: "** What's that? You... You celebrate the anniversary of your birth, really? What's the purpose? What strange customs you Earthlings have!"

 **Event:** "What's that? It doesn't look interesting in the slightest. Eh? A chance to plunder valuable resources? Like what, for instance? Will it be worth my time?"

 **Holy Grail:** "I'll show Vegeta, that's what... Where he failed, I'll create a new Saiyan Empire, but this time I'll be the Emperor... An immortal Emperor…!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	17. The Face of the Franchise

_Fate Grand Order, Fate Zero_ and _Fate/Stay Night_ are the creations and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

* * *

Here she is, Artoria! Once again a canon Servant whose personal version of a character sheet I had around for another project, so I'm just tossing it here for completions' sake and so it doesn't go to waste. Don't expect much in the way of novel stuff in this one, but then again, what kind of Fate roster would be complete without at least one Artoria?

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen.**

* * *

 **Saber.**

 **True Name** : Artoria Pendragon.

 **Alternate Names** : King of the Bretons, King of Knights, The Lion of Camelot, Artie, Wart, The Once and Future King.

 **Alignment** : Lawful Good.

 **Gender** : Female.

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Likes** : "Anything I may like personally has stopped being relevant since long ago. I am now a warrior, a king, a knight, and now a Servant. Thusly, think of me as nothing but a weapon to be yielded."

 **Dislikes:** "Injustice. Opression. The unfairness of Man against his fellow and brother. Those are the things I will always oppose until my final breath."

 **Natural Enemy:** Morgan Le Fay, Mordred, Gilgamesh, Gilles De Rais, Lucius Tiberius.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: B

Endurance: A

Agility: B

Mana: A

Luck: C

Noble Phantasm: A+

 **Biography:**

The illegitimate daughter of Uter Pendragon, King of the Bretons, raised in tumultuous dark times after the King's death by noble Sir Ector, along his son Kay. Brought up as a boy, and given the nickname 'Wart', Artoria was found and educated by Merlin the Archmage, who molded her into a fine gallant knight, eventually able to pull the fated sword Caliburn out of its stone, granting her the non-democratic right to rule over Britain, under the assumed name of Arthur.

When Caliburn was shattered in battle, she replaced it with Excalibur, the blade forged by fairies and gifted by the Lady of the Lake. Artoria was an apt, justice loving king who took great efforts to be a perfect sovereign, but eventually managed to alienate many with her larger than life approach to governing. She nonetheless gathered several of the finest warriors of her time, the Knights of the Round Table, under her guidance, and with them she embarked into many successful military campaigns, including one quest to retrieve the Holy Grail itself.

Artoria's kingdom came to an end when her bastard son Mordred, spurred by his mother, Artoria's half sister Morgan (it's complicated), led a rebellion against her, right while the Royal House was still reeling over the infidelity of Queen Guinevere with Sir Lancelot. At the battle of Camlann, Mordred and Artoria killed each other, but it has been foretold Artoria will return to save her country someday.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Riding** : B.

Saber is extremely competent at horse riding, and whenever she is on a horse this Skill is ranked A+. She is also quite skilled at handling all manners of wheeled vehicles, including motor based ones from the modern era. She is even capable of piloting aircrafts despite having no personal experience with them. However, she cannot ride Dragons or Phantasmal Beasts.

 **Magic Resistance** : A

In life, Saber was not particularly durable against magic, but the prestige and magnificence of her legend has greatly raised this attribute of hers. Saber can easily plow through most unchanted spells and shrug off curses of non-divine origins.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Instinct** : A

A veteran of many military campaigns and well used to surviving court intrigues, Saber has become an expert on determining the best course of action through most situations, especially those related to combat. She is highly qualified at seeing through others' techniques and reading their weaknesses and strong points alike.

 **Charisma** : A

Holding the position of a King and conqueror for years, Saber held a tight sway over most masses and armies under her command. Her speeches can move almost anyone into action no matter the odds. She has a high power of conviction and even seduction, should she ever put her mind into it. Most individuals will come to greatly respect Saber even if they do not share her viewpoints.

 **Mana Burst** : A

This is an ability meant to gather and channel magical energies from the environment into one's own body and weapons. During warfare, Saber becomes one with her surroundings, and through gathering and then releasing the energy gained from the World's will, she may greatly enhance her physical stats and attacks for short spans of time.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Invisible Air:** C

This Noble Phantasm acts as an invisible sheating barrier meant to both protect Saber's primary weapon from being identified through invisibility and make its strikes harder to predict, block or parry. Additionally, the air field it creates around Saber's sword increases its reach, and can be employed as a blunt tool to strike at large groups of enemies at once.

 **Avalon: The Ever Distant Utopia:** EX.

Saber's sheath for her main offensive Noble Phantasm, which was said to render its owner invulnerable to all physical damage. Its origins hail from the Land of Fairies, the King's final resting place from where she will return someday to lead her people once again. Also offers additional defenses against magic. Regrettably, not only this Noble Phantasm can only protect one person at a time, but it was also lost to Saber some time ago.

 **Excalibur: The Promised Sword of Victory:** A++

Saber's best known and most offensively destructive Noble Phantasm, forged and delivered to her by the mysterious Lady of the Lake to replace Caliburn, Artoria's first blade, the famous Sword in the Stone, after it was shattered in battle. When released, Excalibur's full power will manifest itself as a massive thermic blast covering a gigantic area in all directions around Saber, but mostly directed towards wherever the blade is pointing. Excalibur has holy properties, being a symbol of the passage from the pagan eras to the Age of Christianity.

 **Summoning:** "I ask of you, now- Are you my Master?"

 **Start of Battle:** "Come at me with all your might!"

"To the count of five! One, two... five!"

 **Victory:** "I apologize. But the oath of a king to achieve victory cannot be broken."

"You still lack training. Push your body and mind further, and then come back to me. I might even grant you knighthood."

 **Defeat:** "Even if you defeat me... a second Artoria will come, and then a third one, and then..."

"No... Not like this..."

"I'm sorry, Master..."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I will return... when Britain needs me the most..."

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "Sheathed in the breath of stars. A torrent of shining life. Hail! The Sword of Promised Victory! **EXCALIBUR!** "

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Shirou...! I... Shirou...!" (When you have Archer Young Emiya.)

"To be able to even form a contract with the King of Heroes... you are something, Master. He is... well... a Heroic Spirit who poses certain problems, but his ability is exceptional. You might become used to his behavior... Though, I never did." (When you have Archer Gilgamesh.)

"The Archer cloaked in red... To be able to fight with him is pleasing, but also sad. Whatever path in life he has chosen, that Heroic Spirit is destined to continue fighting." (When you have Archer EMIYA.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday, Master. May it be a good one."

 **Event:** "Hm. I have just had a premonition I had not felt in the longest of times. A celebration of harvest, perhaps. Let us investigate, Master."

 **Holy Grail:** "To undo the mistakes of the past. To repair what I foolishly wrecked through my blunder. That, if ever possible, would be the greatest relief and expiation I could ever reach…"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	18. Unequally Rational and Emotional

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Mahou Sensei Negima!_ is the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

* * *

With special thanks to Shadow Crystal Mage.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen.**

* * *

 **Caster.**

 **True Identity:** Saotome Haruna.

 **Other Aliases and Titles:** Paru, Haru.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Good when sex and/or world domination dreams aren't involved. Chaotic Evil the other 85% of the time.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Likes:** "Yaoi manga! That's just the best! I also love my two best friends, Nodo-chi and Yuecchi! And our cute Negi-kun! And Chisame-chan!"

 **Dislikes:** "Deadlines are a bitch, aren't they? I'm not really fond of reptiles either, I'll never understand Negi-kun's dinosaur mania..."

 **Natural Enemy:** Censorship, Fate Averruncus, Sextum Averruncus.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: E

Endurance: D

Agility: C

Luck: A

Mana: A

Noble Phantasm: A

 **Biography:**

Once a normal student of Japan's prestigious Mahora Academy, (that is to say, a slightly nuts student), Haruna's life unknowingly took a turn for the magical when young mage Negi Springfield became her class' English and homeroom teacher. At first, her interaction with him was strictly limited to encouraging her friends Ayase Yue and Miyazaki Nodoka to admit her feelings for him. However, she managed to divine the existence of magic during the class' trip to Kyoto, and the world was doomed.

During this trip and the following Mahora Summer Festival Incident, she primarily played a support role, creating rudimentary constructs for her friends' needs, blocking time bullets and helping Ku Fei block three Chachamaru mass production units to buy Negi time to reach his objective.

After the Mahorafest, she developed her skills with her new magically gained Artifact, creating more magically powerful and sophisticated constructs capable of flight, thought response, and even energy beam attacks. It is significant to note that, upon being separated from Ala Alba during the Mundus Magicus Gateport incident, she actually managed to prosper alone with Cocone Fatima Rosa, having earned enough money to both buy a used airship and outfit it with black market weapons.

In the end, she, like the rest of the Ala Alba, was instrumental in the defeat of global terrorist organization Kosmo Entelekhia. Things, however, did not settle down after this, although personal data on her past this point is insufficient and unreliable.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Territory Creation:** C+

Caster is an expert mangaka, and given any free time she's likely to set up an art workshop for herself and others. These workshops are easy to dismantle by the enemy, but they also can be used for collecting and filling data, and for the upholding of strategic meetings and hiding prisoners or escapees. They also have the advantage of being easily portable and movable from one location to another through minimal effort.

 **Item Creation:** A+

While not a trained mage herself, Caster gains a high rank at this skill from her Artifact, the _Imperium Graphices_ , earned from a ritualistic kiss with Negi. It is a drawing set that allows her to create anything she can draw. These creations can range from simple golem caricatures doodles to highly advanced human-sized mobile suits with flight, energy beam, and rocket punch capability. Coupled with her devious imagination, it is both a highly versatile tool and a dangerously effective weapon. However, Haruna also absorbs a small portion of the damage her constructs receive in battle into her own organism; large amounts of damage may even threaten her own survival.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Badass Bookworm:** A

Haruna is a trained library explorer, used to raid the depths of Mahora's gigantic Library Island, and thus skilled in rappelling, unarmed combat, small arms combat, whips, the Dewey Decimal System, library and wilderness survival, spelunking, book repair, finding the smutty books intentionally misplaced in the shelves by students trying to keep them all to themselves, locking, and trap identification and disbarment, among other skills. She also has an understanding of the magical black market, and knows how to acquire things from it.

 **Adventurer Tactics:** C

Other than because of her Artifact, Caster was an asset to Ala Alba because of her organizational skills, information processing, tactical planning and motivational abilities. While not exactly a leader, she can bring together any sort of group that is needed for any situation, though she lacks the ability to lead it effectively. However, being a happy go lucky, good natured individual despite her character flaws and vices, she can serve as the heart and unifying glue for a team; this skill goes up two ranks if the majority of the team Caster is in happens to share at least an apparent age with her.

 **Anything Goes Martial Arts:** D

Caster received incomplete but still efficient training at Kempo and other styles of fighting from her father, although her lazy, inconsistent nature has made her to lag behind in her practice of the arts. As she stands now, she is better at it than Yukihiro Ayaka is at her own fighting style, but still far below the likes of Ku Fei and Nagase Kaede. In life, Caster disliked having her martial prowesses known, and for years she kept them a secret from everyone save Nodoka and Yue.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **The Great Paru-sama:** A

Anti-Army Unit.

A gigantic living, empathic flying whale ship, which Caster once bought with the small fortune she gained for exploiting her abilities in the Magic World. It can hold up to forty people at once comfortably, and is equiped with a wide and powerful arsenal of cannons, missiles and projectile beams. It is not extremely maneuverable, but still remarkably fast despite its size, and fairly durable. It also has a functional cloaking system that can keep hidden from the naked human eye or radars, and functions with the equivalent of an aerial B ranked Presence Concealment when activated; however, the ship cannot shoot while cloaked.

While Caster is a skilled expert t piloting this particular ship, that does not given Caster the Riding Skill with any other kind of air, land or water vehicles.

 **Summon:** " _Good morning!_ I'm Saotome Paru, the lovely Caster, at your service! Because you are my Master, aren't you?"

 **Start of Battle:** "I'm a lover, not a fighter!"

 **Victory:** "Enemy Party Obliterated! Record time: 57 seconds!"

"A happy ending! I love those!"

 **Defeat:** "Ugh... I'll show you next time…"

"I hope you're happy now!"

"World domination... a dream shattered…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "At least I enjoyed my life…"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "This is my pride! This is my baby! Receive the kiss of all our cannons! I call you forth... GREAT PARU-SAMA!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Dammit... I take a single look at her and my heart starts beating like crazy, I don't know why... But, just look at that hot body! Isn't that reason enough!?" (When you have Caster Lala Satalin Deviluke.)

"I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy of your company, master! Please train me, I beg you!" (When you have Foreigner Hokusai Katsushika and Oui.)

"Ho ho ho! So you would call yourself a would be doujin artist, wouldn't you? Well, let this be your test! This will be our field of battle...!" (When you have Ruler Jeanne D'Arc or Avenger Jeanne D'Arc.)

 **Birthday:** "Heeeeyyy, good birthday, Master! We can't go drink together yet, I'm still a minor, but we still can party all night long! C'mon, don't be a spoilsport! Enjoy yourself!"

 **Event:** "What is this? A summer festival, or a sports festival? Some people still haven't forgiven me over what I did in my last sports festival, you know..."

 **Holy Grail:** "It is cursed, isn't it? That's the way it's always is in this kind of stories. When there's something that is just too good for words, it turns out it's damned or something, geez..."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	19. The Clown Prince of Crime

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Batman_ is the creation of Bob Kane and Bill Finger and intellectual property of DC Comics.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen.**

* * *

 **Assassin.**

 **Real Name:** The Joker.

 **Full REAL Name, You Ask?** : I'll tell you what. Why don't you tell me yours first?

 **Known Titles and Aliases:** Jack Napier, The Clown Prince of Crime, Joseph Kerr, the Harlequin of Hate, John Dough, Jack White, Oberon Sexton, Ivar Loxias, Oda Nobunaga, Bianca Stepplechase (don't ask!)

 **Alignment:** Lawful Good. What? You don't believe me? Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to y— Wait, wait, wait, don't walk away! Fine! Chaotic Evil! Happy now?

 **Attribute:** Human. Although I must admit I'm not too _humane_. A humanitarian, sometimes.

 **Likes** : Some of us just want to see the world burn. Of course, if Solomon does it instead of me, then what's the point? So he must be stopped at all costs! That's my immoral duty! Other than that, I like classic comedies, Immanuel Kant books, dead puppies, live puppies, hyenas, dead orphans, fish dishes, and practical jokes above everything else. Also, Batman.

 **Dislikes:** Batman, other people who take themselves way too seriously. Jerry Lewis.

 **Natural Enemy:** Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, Robin, the Punisher, the Faker Batman, Emiya Kiritsugu.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: D

Endurance: B

Agility: C

Mana: B

Luck: A+

Noble Phantasm: EX

 **Biography:**

Yours Truly emerged from chemical waste at the Axis Chemical Factory in Gotham City, Dear Good Ol' USA, ten to seven years ago. I may have been a failed comedian struggling to support a doomed pregnant wife before that. Or maybe I was just a cheap thug wearing a red hood. Or both things at once. Really, am I asking you about **_your_** past? About if you've moved from Mom's basement yet?

Regardless, from there, I quickly pulled a gang together and began a mass extortion racket killing millionaires and threatening other fat cats to spill their goods to me or else. A pedestrian plan, but give me a break, I was only starting. In all truth, it was a decoy scheme to get me some money while achieving my true goal- poisoning the Gotham Water Reservoir. Unluckily, a certain flying rat stopped my beautiful dreams. In the ensuing struggle, I was left for dead, but you can't keep a good clown down for long.

I think my second criminal escapade involved stealing jewels and crossing Catwoman (God, I hate cats.) Don't want to talk about it, actually.

For my third outing, I kidnapped a councilwoman to use as a bait for Batsy. The trap worked a bit too well, and I thought I had actually killed him. With my nemesis dead, I thought I had nothing left to top it, so I hung the clown shoes and decided to start a new life at the suburbs under a fake identity. I met a nice girl named... what was her name... Rebecca?... there, and thought of settling down, but well, a good bat doesn't stay dead either. Once the Batman returned the stage, I had to pull a comeback of my own.

Sometimes I wonder what became of what-was-her-name.

Anyway, that was the first and final time I flirted with retirement. I bedeviled Bats a few more times, including a team-up with Metropolis' _second_ (ha hah!) favorite son Lex Luthor, which made Bats and Supey team up as well for the first time ever. (They owe everything to us.)

Around that time, Bats gained a disturbingly youthful boy helper in hot short pants named Robin. Even I couldn't out-creep that, so I settled for convincing a young psychiatrist promise at Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane, one Dr. Harleen Quinzeel, to join my merry crusade as the bombastic Harley Quinn. Then she paid my kindness by flirting with that eco-slut Poison Ivy whenever I just threw her off a window or something. Honestly, other than big breasts, Angelina Jolie lips, and an unhealthy tolerance for the smell of fertilizer, what does _she_ have that I don't?

In any case, a few happy adventures after, I shot Robin a few times under the rain (my finger slipped on the trigger! For real!), leaving him a swiss cheese. The brat survived (THERE IS NO JUSTICE!), but Batman, fearing for his safety, 'fired' him (a bit too late, Bats...) Proving there's no limit to human idiocy, however, the Boy Blunder just left Gotham to found the group of super snot-nosed failures known as the Teen Titans.

More recently, I kidnapped Gotham Police Commissioner Jim Gordon and shot and crippled his daughter Barbara just to prove an important point on human sanity and decency; however, Old Gordon and Batman cheated and deprived me of my rightful moral victory. I also was involved in the theft of a nuclear bomb I sold the nation of Qurac. During that mischievous escapade, the second brat that unrepentant child endangerer with bat ears hired to play the Robin role got in my way, so I pummeled him to half death with a crowbar, then blew him up with tons of TNT for good measure.

I mean, it's what YOU would have done too, right?

Recently, I was freed from the Throne of Heroes and convinced to help save the world for once. Yeah, eat that, Batman!

I can tell we're going to have some major fun.

* * *

 **Class Skills:**

 **Presence Concealment** : B.

I'm a showoff whenever I want to be, being prone to bombastic, fantabulous grand entrances, and normally I like nothing better than having every eye in the room set on me. But when I want to slip under the radar, you bet your sweet butt I can be quite stealthy and slippery! I have snuck on agents of the League of Shadows, the descendants of those Hassan guys, and ambushed them in the darkness of their own caves, easily killing them off when they came after me. A few times, I've been able to sneak up on Batman, who has all sorts of fancy ninja stealth crap himself. Another time, I infiltrated the headquarters of the Gotham City Police Department and killed everyone in the building but Jim Gordon.

And of course, I can and have escaped any maximum security prison in the world, including Arkham Asylum and the Slab, more than once. Piece of cake!

 **Territory Creation:** C

I can quickly set up and prepare a Ha-Hacienda, a fiendish laboratory funhouse deathtrap as my base of operations. Each Ha-Hacienda allows me to store a vast number of hired henchmen to do most of my dirty work for me and plenty of equipment to happily cook and prepare my nefarious poisons, as well as tons of nice deadly traps for any snooping magi, low ranking Servants, or urban vigilantes. Sadly, these traps usually are of no good against superpowered interlopers.

 **Item Creation** : A

Beyond having a wonderful sense of humor and irresistible sexual magnetism, I am a criminal genius, gifted at Chemistry and Mechanics. My favorite weapon is the hilarious Joker Toxin, aka Smilex, Joker Juice or Joker Poison, an invention that swiftly kills while leaving a grinning rictus on your face.

Besides that, I can and have created a wide variety of wonderful devices like exploding Jack-in-the-Boxes, rigged shooting toy airplanes, souped up Jokermobiles that can ourun that old can the Batmobile, trick gag guns that shoot spears, acid squirting flowers in the lapels of my suit, functional jetpacks to fly around with, and even gigantic robots with enough strength as to wallop Superman around for a while.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Double Summon** : A

I'm such a hot shit I can be summoned with the Skills of an Assassin and Caster at the same time, making me extremely unpredictable and dangerous, just like that Semiramis babe, but even hotter. This is a very rare skill, boys and girls! Reserve yours today!

 **Mental Pollution** : A+

I am so insane I cross the whole field over to super-sanity, allowing me to remember prior repeats of this timeline, and know we're just living in a fanfic and we should just relax. (La-la-la!) How does that work? Beats me, what do I look like? A cosmologist? It even grants me protection against most psychic attacks! On the downside this makes it difficult for those who don't share this skill with me to understand me, but hey, their fault if they don't get the joke, right?

 **Expert of Many Specializations (False)** : C

Years of experimenting on myself have rendered me immune to most toxins and venoms, and even my blood is toxic, so sorry, Evangeline, Shinobu, Rachel, Marceline. You always could suck another part of me, though.

Although I'm no Lady Shiva, Li Shuwen, Ku Fei or anything, I'm a decent self taught street brawler, and can trade occasional punches with Bats.

I can pilot airplanes with remarkable ease, I'm a mean if somewhat reckless driver, and I speak formidable French (the language of Love!) Regrettably, mounting animals (get your mind outta the gutter!) is a no-no, much less Phantasmal Beasts or Dragons.

Additionally, while I don't know much about spells, and I'm no Harry Potter knockoff with Goku genes tossed in, I can pull a _mean_ disappearance trick with a pencil...

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Emperor Joker- The Ultimate Joke on Everyone!:** EX

Anti-World (look at that, Gil!)

Once, I hijacked the phenomenal cosmic powers of an imp of the Fifth Dimension I tricked into revealing his true name to me. With the little goober's powers, I reshaped the whole of this universe to my whim, gaining practical omnipotence, but my admittedly insane obsession with Batman ended up being my downfall again, and I was stripped off those powers. This Noble Phantasm allows me to briefly recreate those golden moments, but with several limitations from my status as a Anti-Heroic Spirit.

First, the NP can be used only once per War. Second, it requires a tremendous mana pull on a very strong Master, or previously consuming an extremely high number of souls, to be pulled off successfully. There's a fifty/fifty chance, even there, the Phantasm's activation will destroy the Master, the Servant, or both after completion, although Survival of both is still possible with a good Luck roll. The Phantasm, when all conditions are reached, allows for reality warping on a mass scale. Enemy Servants can be destroyed in a single attack, and Beasts of Humanity will lose half their health; they can be destroyed if they've been seriously damaged previously. My ultimate, most spectacular trump card, but not one I would like to play too lightly. Death is fun when it's other people's, but living is so much fun, too!

 **Summoning:** "Uh-uh-uh, don't touch that remote! I know it's heartbreaking to have your favorite summons pre-empted. But look what you're getting instead: me! The Joker! And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage! Everything that makes Grail Wars great! So stay tuned, you won't believe your eyes..."

 **Start of Battle:** "Why so serious _?_ "

"If you expect to play against the Joker, you'd better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!"

 **Victory:** "Have you ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?"

"And now... You're fired!" (As I set the opponent on fire with a few matches and a can of oil.)

 _ **"HYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"**_

 **Defeat:** "Why aren't you laughing? Why aren't you laughing?!"

"That's the downside of comedy. You're always taking shots from people who just don't get the joke!"

"Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Not funny.. It's not... funny..."

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** _"You can be a goody two-shoes 'till the end of your days. You can listen to them say crime never pays. You can follow every law and be the big black bat. But why would you want to? Huh?! Where's the fun in that? Where's the fun in that? So, smile, darn you, smile! Everybody loves to grin. Follow my lead, recite my creed._ _And smile, darn you, **smile!**_ "

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Batman! Darling!" (When you have Avenger Batman.)

 _"Jingle Bells. Batman smells. Robin lay an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the JOOOKEERRR GOT A-WAY!"_ (When you have Rider Santa Artoria Alter, Samba Ruler Quetzalcoatl, Lancer Santa Jeanne Alter Lily or Archer Santa Altera.)

"Oda Nobunaga, huh? I was Oda Nobunaga once..." (When you have Archer Nobunaga or Berserker Nobunaga.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday, Master! Here, I took the liberty of baking this cake for you and everything! It even has a stripper inside! Huh? Is she alive, you ask? Why would she be?"

 **Event:** "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! We're tonight's entertainment."

 **Holy Grail:** "A box of cigars! But they've gotta be Cubans! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	20. Why did you Say that Name?

_Fate Grand Order, Fate Apocrypha_ and _Fate Grand Order_ are the creations and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty.**

* * *

This is Martha as she would be in my _Lovely Magical Collectible Waifu Game of Death!_ fanfic, combining elements of the Rider and Ruler canon versions. She's mostly based on _Fate Apocrypha_ 's single manga panel showing her as a Ruler in her Rider attire, plus her depiction in _Fate Harem Antics_.

* * *

 **Ruler.**

 **True Identity:** Martha.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Alignment:** Lawful Good.

 **Attribute:** Heaven.

 **Natural Enemy:** Mephistopheles, Jeanne Alter, Spawn.

 **Likes:** Praying, Faith, Contemplation, Fistfights.

 **Dislikes:** Betrayers, devils, demons.

 **Parameters:**

 **Strength:** B+

 **Endurance:** B

 **Agility:** B

 **Mana:** A

 **Luck:** A+

 **Noble Phantasm:** A

 **Biography:**

Older sister to Mary Magdalene and Lazarus, Martha was part of one of the first congregations to gather around Jesus and His holy message, and a stern, even stubborn preacher of the early Christian faith. A simple city girl driven to become a more eloquent person, her natural earnest personality will often show through her otherwise honest and sincere saintly disposition, especially when under distress or when provoked.

After the Messiah's crucifixion, Martha was pursued by the enemies of the faith all the way over to France, where she was approached to placate Tarasque, one of the last dragons, an evil creature that would sink ships and devour human beasts ravenously. Through a combination of unconditional love and hard hitting physical violence, Martha ended the threat of Tarasque and earned his everlasting devotion, freeing the locals and becoming a heroine of the region.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Magic Resistance:** EX

As the arbiter of the Holy Grail War and a woman of unwavering faith blessed by God, Ruler is unaffected by any incantations from magic users of the modern era short the rank of a Sorcerer Supreme or Guardian of Order. Church sacraments and relics are also useless against her, and may in fact empower her further. As for Servants, only mages from the Age of Gods with spells ranked A or above may hurt her.

 **God's Resolution:** A

The ability to enact control over a Grail War judiciously disposing of undesired elements disrupting the course of Heaven's Feel. This manifests as seven sets of three command seals each, which allows Ruler to bind Servants of the main classes to her will, granting her three absolute orders per Servant. Ruler may even command a Servant to commit suicide. However, the ability is restricted to only seven Servants at a summon, and should there be two or more Servants of a single class present, Ruler only has domain over one. Additionally, this Skill will not work on Foreigners, Avengers, Moon Cancers, Alter Egos, Gatekeepers, Magical Girls, Shielders, Monsters, Savers, Beasts, Watchers, Temptresses, Gunners, or other Rulers.

 **True Name Discernment:** C

The ability gifted to a Ruler of assessing the Class, True Identities, and basic parameters of the Servants fighting in a Grail War by merely looking at them. A type of divine insight, it is limited in the sense that, while all Classes can be identified as such, the True Identities and parameters only can be ascertained in the cases of Sabers, Archers, Lancers, Riders, Casters and Berserkers. Assassins are protected by their Presence Concealment, and the other classes are anomalies that fall beyond Ruler's jurisdiction.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Dragon Riding:** EX

Ruler's legend, that of taming the ferocious dragon Tarasque, allows her domain over any beasts of the draconic species, which become manageable mounts under her direction. However, not being summoned as Rider takes Martha's capacity to ride any other animal or vehicle away. Left in a boat, she cannot do anything else but float away on it. However…

 **Saint of the Waterside:** B+

Ruler's loss of direct control over seacraft is countered by this Skill, which grants her a connection to any large bodies of water. Since she arrived to Europe by drifting on a boat guided by God's providence, and she subdued Tarasque by the riverbank of the Rhone, not only Ruler is able to indirectly influence the flow of tides in her favor, but her offensive power rises one rank or two whenever she is in the water, depending on the amounts of available liquid.

 **Divinity:** C

A confirmed Saint by the Catholic Church, Ruler is a faithful follower of the True Messiah, who walked along him in life, and became an object of reverence and faith after her death.

 **Jacob's Limbs:** C

The ancient method of hand to hand combat created by patriarch Jacob to wrestle an angel, and passed through generations of especially enlightened practitioners, including Moses and Martha. This Skill gains a full rank when applied on opponents with the Divinity trait. Beyond this, she also can pummel adversaries brutally with her cross shaped staff.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Tarasque- The Pitiful Dragon that Did Not Know Love:** A

The summon of the gigantic river dragon of Martha's legend, made possible by Ruler's triumph over it. A fearsome beast of six legs and a long tail armed with a sting like a scorpion's, Tarasque only obeys—and fears—Martha, who at times would seem to be obliviously abusive towards him. This includes using him as a living ramming projectile against the enemy. As Tarasque is a primal beast born from Leviathan itself, and armed with a thick scaly shell, the crash is devastating, comparable to the impact of a concentrated megaton bomb. This Noble Phantasm can be used only once per week at most since it consumes large amounts of prana, plus Tarasque is badly damaged himself and will need extensive recovery time afterwards.

 **Summon:** "Peace be with you. I am Ruler, the supervisor for this Holy Grail War. During this campaign, I will be under your care."

 **Battle Start:** "Repent your sins!"

 **Victory:** "Well? Haven't you repented just yet?!"

"Look back upon your misdeeds and regret them…"

 **Defeat:** "Forgive me, Lord, for I have failed…!"

"Not all is lost yet, though."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "But it's been written, someday we all will rise again under His command…"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "Lend me your strength! In the name of our Lord! Heed my call, **Tarasque!** "

 **Other Dialogue:**

"… the scourge of God, you say…" (When you have Saber Altera.)

"The devil, you say?!" (When you have Caster Mephistopheles.)

"What… What is this abomination?!" (When you have Assassin Spawn.)

 **Birthday:** "While we don't really celebrate birthdays as such, it's always joyous to be reminded of your birth, Master. Thanks to you, I… I…"

 **Event:** "What a joyful occasion. Let us head there, Master. The grace of the Lord will be upon us."

 **Holy Grail:** "Naturally, I have no desire for it myself. My labor here is merely overviewing the struggle for it. If I must be honest, I don't even like it… It is naught but a cheap copy of what never should have been duplicated…"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	21. The Vigilante

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Darkwing Duck_ is the creation of Tad Stones and Alan Burnett and intellectual property of The Walt Disney Company.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty One.**

* * *

 **Archer.**

 **True Identity:** Drake Mallard.

 **Other Aliases and Titles:** Darkwing Duck, the Midnight Mallard, Arachno-Duck (only briefly, while subjected to a spider-like mutation.)

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Alignment:** Neutral Good.

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Natural Enemy:** Negaduck, Taurus Bullba, Megavolt.

 **Likes:** Himself, his daughter, Justice, dramatic entrances.

 **Dislikes:** Disrespect, villains, injustice.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: C

Endurance: A

Agility: B

Luck: D

Mana: D

Noble Phantasm: B

 **Biography:**

Nothing is known for sure about the true origins of Archer. He has given at least four different versions of his secret origin, including one where he was rocketed from another planet as a baby and another where he was made into a crimefighter by a djinn in a lamp (see also, Caster Scheherezade, Saber Aladdin.) His first apparition as an urban vigilante would seem to have pitched him against one of his lifelong archenemies, electrically charged psycho Megavolt, but his first actual big case involved mob boss Taurus Bullba, a merciless foe who murdered local scientist Professor Waddlemeyer and then kidnapped his granddaughter Gosalyn, who would be then adopted by the hero.

Recruiting a sidekick and pilot, Joe 'Launchpad' Mc Quack, also summonable as a Rider in his own right (see also, Lancer Scrooge Mc Duck), Darkwing Duck would go on to fight a wide variety of bizarre foes to protect the city of Saint Canard, including his bloodthirsty counterpart Negaduck and Steelbeak, suave agent of an international crime ring known as FOWL (see also, Assassin Bentina Beakley and Webbigail Vanderquack.) His twilight years are wrapped in confusion and mystery, most probably because the newspapers never paid that much attention to him.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Magic Resistance:** D

The ability to resist single incantation or unspoken spells. In life, Archer was the paramour to a powerful sorceress, Morganna Mc Cawber, and whenever she directed her anger at him, she would invariably turn some manner of spellcraft on him. Archer is nowhere to invulnerable to magic, but from those brushes has developed a mild resistance to him that allows him to keep on fighting even while shapeshifted into forms that would disable other Servants. Simple one verse or silent spells can be repelled with the efficiency of an average anti-magic amulet.

 **Independent Action:** A

The ability of a Servant to survive in the World without a Master to anchor their existence. Archer was a proud, stubborn individual who preferred to work alone, and would refuse to fall even when clearly outmatched. His skill at this rank means he can survive up to one week in this world without a contract as long as his mana consumption remains moderate.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Battle Continuation:** A

The ability to keep on fighting even while sustaining wounds that should be lethal. Archer is a prideful expert of urban warfare with an indomitable will, although blows to his ego through mocking and taunt may lower this skill to B. However, should Archer be fighting along allies he values, or to protect a Master with a Bond Level of 3 or above, the effects of taunting will be denied, and it no one is mocking Archer's aptitude, Battle Continuation is raised to A+.

 **Bravery :** A

Well used to fight superpowered enemies while lacking any special powers of his own, and able to wrestle adversaries who were much larger than him into submission, Archer rarely yields in the face of danger. He can raise his own rank at this Skill to A+ if he pronounces his catchphrase "Let's get dangerous!" but that boost will only last around five to ten minutes per day, according to the level of mana spent in the attack.

 **Master of Quack Fu:** C

A trained martial artist under Master Goose Lee, Archer is a persistent, relatively effective hand to hand fighter, but his small size and reach and Lee's somewhat dubious reputation as an old master reduce his rank with this Skill. His ultimate martial technique is the Belly Bounce, a move where he throws himself onto the enemy, and which once felled a gigantic rampaging monster.

 **Gas Gun:** C-

Archer's favorite weapon, a trusty, sharp shooting handgun of his own design that could shoot several quick charges of gas pellets, able to disorient and incapacitate most foes around Archer's own level of physical stats. The gun also can shoot grapple hooks that allow Archer a better and faster mobility in urban and jungle environments, and a special, slower moving load that explodes and ignites on contact, wrapping the target in flames.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Crisis on Infinite Darkwings:** B

A Reality Marble born of Archer's massive ego, and linking him to a passage of his life, where Negaduck (also summonable as Berserker or Assassin) and witch Magica De Spell (also summonable as a Caster. See also- Caster Mad Madam Mim) summoned an army of brainwashed interdimensional versions of Darkwing to wreck havoc upon Saint Canard. Within the Reality Marble all of these Darkwings, Heroic Spirits on their own, will act alongside Archer to sweep over the enemy.

Notable Darkwings within the Reality Marble include the grim and gritty Darkwarrior Duck (also summonable as an Avenger or Berserker), buccaneer Darkwing Doubloon (also summonable as a Rider), bowduck Quiverwing Quack II, Optimus Prime Darkwing, Sailor Moon Darkwing, and the most powerful of all, Bowling Ball Darkwing.

 **Summon:** "I am the terror that flaps in the night… I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares… I am… Servant Archer!"

 **Start of Battle:** "Let's get dangerous."

 **Victory:** "I look good while doing good!"

"Yep, yep, yep…"

 **Defeat:** "Battered, pummeled, but never beaten, Darkwing Duck will live on to fight another day…!"

"Ouch…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Gosalyn…!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "Worlds lived, worlds died, and nothing was ever the same again! Especially not me! Crisis on Infinite Darkwings…!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"That face, huh… For some reason, it puts me at the edge of my wits, as if warning me against something, but it also sets me at ease… It's a pleasant sensation. H-Hey! Don't get the wrong idea, Master!" (When you have Archer Ishtar, Rider Ishtar, or Lancer Ereshkigal.)

"What an affable young lady. I can tell we're going to get along just fine." (When you have Lancer Parvati.)

"Now her… Her, I don't like…" (When you have Moon Cancer BB, Alter Ego Meltlilith, or Alter Ego Passionlip.)

"Oh, Mc Duck! The owner of Duckburg! This is… quite a surprise, to say the least…" (When you have Lancer Scrooge Mc Duck.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday, Master! Here, have an autographed picture! It's sure to become a valuable collector's item, you know…"

 **Event:** "A gathering? Darkwing Duck operates from the shadows of the night; I don't need going into the open… Wait, will there be reporters? If so, I'm in!"

 **Holy Grail:** "Do you think this thing will let me be more popular than Gizmoduck?"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	22. When she Smiles

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Shin Seiki Evangelion_ is the creation and intellectual property of Anno Hideaki, Sadamoto Yoshiyuki, and Studio Kharas.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Two.**

* * *

 **Lancer.**

 **True Identity:** Ayanami Rei.

 **Other Titles and Aliases:** The First Child, Wonder Girl.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Alignment:** Lawful Neutral.

 **Attribute:** Heaven.

 **Natural Enemy:** Doctor Akagi Naoko, Doctor Akagi Ritsuko.

 **Likes:** "Master, Commander Ikari, Ikari Shinji."

 **Dislikes:** "Nothing in particular."

 **Parameters:**

Strength: E

Endurance: E

Agility: E

Luck: D

Mana: A

Noble Phantasm: EX

 **Biography:**

In another world, in Year 2,000 AC, a living creature crashed against the Antarctica, triggering the Second Impact, an apocalyptic event that destroyed most of human population on Earth. Fifteen years afterwards, civilization had recovered enough as to build Evangelion Units, monstrous bio-mecha of humongous proportions used to combat entities from beyond codenamed 'Angels'.

Ayanami Rei was the first pilot deployed the man the prototype Evangelion in the war for human survival. Not much was ever disclosed or published about her true origins or ultimate whereabouts, in part because the remainders of mankind were mostly swept off shortly after the conflict between the NERV-produced Evanngelions and the Angels came to an abrupt conclusion.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Magic Resistance:** E

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Lance of Longinus:** C

A copy of a weapon developed by NERV for Lancer's Evangelion Unit 00, which in turn was derived from the weapon that pierced the Messiah's body in the cross (see also Lancer Longinus.) In life, Lancer used the original NERV creation exactly only once, but since it was the tool of one of her greatest achievements and she would be useless in combat on foot otherwise, it serves as the weapon granting her access to the Lancer class. Lancer can wield it with a moderate amount of aptitude that comes from her piloting training, but it is more useful as a throw weapon; however, once tossed Lancer is practically defenseless until it can be retrieved, and she cannot just call it back to her like Cu Chulainn can for _Gae Bolg_.

 **Divinity:** B

As a test tube child born from the combination of Ikari Yui's genes with those of an angelic entity found in the South Pole, Lancer is a semidivine child, an albino with red eyes and blue hair. This is what allows her access to the Human Instrumentality Project.

 **Battle Continuation:** A

The ability to keep on fighting despite having sustained deadly wounds. Lancer was intensely professional to the degree of self sacrifice, and would keep on fighting to the end even when mortally injured and against enemies greatly outmatching her.

 **We Have Reserves:** C

Manufactured in the laboratories of NERV, Lancer had in life a wide variety of reserve bodies in a massive tank in the basements of the Geofront facilities. Whenever one of Rei's bodies was killed in the field of battle or otherwise, her soul would migrate to a replacement body, although with an altered personality. The historical fact Doctor Akagi Ritsuko destroyed the tank and most of Rei's clones means there are only three bodies available for the Servant Rei. Rei I, a sharp tongued, mysterious little child, Rei II, a stoic and robotic but inwardly warm and affectionate teenage girl, and Rei III, physically identical to II but with a more truly detached, militaristic attitude. There is no way to predict which Rei will attend to the summon, nor to divine in which order will her other selves show after the original's destruction.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Evangelion Unit 00:** A

Lancer's manmade bio armored vehicle, which might qualify her for the Rider class as well. Demands a large supply of mana to become functional. A gigantic living exoskeleton able to fight with A ranked speed, A+ ranked strength, and virtually impervious to most projectile weapons designed by man. Runs out of energy and dematerializes five minutes after activation unless directly connected to a source of prana equivalent to a Holy Grail.

 **Human Instrumentality Project- It All Becomes to Nothing:** EX

Anti-World.

The ultimate purpose of Lancer's existence. Thanks to her divine nature and origin, and after performing an extraordinary prana pull to perform this Noble Phantasm, Lancer can connect the souls of all sapient beings on a planet, dissolving their bodies into a reddish primordial liquid as their spirits merge into a single being akin to an illuminated god. Extremely harmful to Beasts. Servants with Divinity or Willpower ranked A+ or EX can resist the effects of this Noble Phantasm and pull themselves back into a physical form. Lancer can select individuals to be spared the effects of this Noble Phantasm, such as her Master or allied Servants. For the duration of the Noble Phantasm Lancer presents herself as a titanic naked version of herself towering over the landscape.

This Noble Phantasm will kill Lancer immediately after completion, even if all three copies would be otherwise available.

 **Summon:** "Greetings. I have been designed as Servant Lancer." (Rei II.)

"How do you do? I am Lancer. Would you, then, be my Master?" (Rei I.)

"Commander. I am Lancer, your support unit for this mission." (Rei III.)

 **Start Battle:** "Target acquired and locked. Starting battle operation now."

 **Victory:** "…" (Rei II.)

"Objective accomplished. Returning to the Geofront now." (Rei III.)

"Was that all? Oh, I see…" (Rei I.)

 _"Heeee-eeeey."_ (Blandly, all three.)

 **Defeat:** "Ugh…" (Rei II.)

"Tee hee, it was fun…" (Rei I.)

"Abort mission. Abort mission…" (Rei III.)

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Apologies, Commander…"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "The moment has come. Let the Gates of Heaven be opened. Let us humanity be judged."

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"I am not your friend, but if I am commanded to, I will be." (Rei II, to any female Servants.)

"This onee-chan… she looks at me so strangely, I wonder why?" (Rei I, when you have Ruler Martha, Rider Martha or Ruler Jeanne D'Arc.)

"I don't like you… I don't like old aunts in those nurse coats…" (Rei I, when you have Caster Kitami Reika.)

"Smiling for you? Why should I do that?" (Rei II or Rei III, when you have Assassin Joker.)

 **Birthday:** "Merry anniversary, Master." (Rei II.)

"Congratulations on this date." (Rei III.)

"I'm sorry I don't have anything to give you today. But, what if you treat me today, and I will repay you double later?" (Rei I.)

 **Event:** "Do we really need to go? Very well." (Rei II.)

"Activity detected within the perimeter, Master. There are hostile Servants inside…" (Rei III.)

"Oh, that looks of interest. May we go, Master?" (Rei I.)

 **Holy Grail:** "If you want it, I will retrieve it for you, Master. I have no wish of my own for it."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	23. Masked Man

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _The Mask_ is the creation and intellectual property of Dark Horse Comics.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Three.**

* * *

This version of the character combines elements from the (much darker) original source comics, the movies and the animated series. It has roughly the same backstory as in the _Unequally Rational and Emotional_ continuity.

* * *

 **Berserker.**

 **True Name:** Stanley Ipkiss.

 **Other Aliases and Titles:** Bighead, The Mask.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Neutral.

 **Natural Enemy:** Walter, Thor, Doctor Pretorius.

 **Likes:** "I like wild nights at the Coco Bongo Club, the smell of fresh dollar bills, and long pleasant walks under the moonlight. If you can provide those, I'm free game for a date! Call me!"

 **Dislikes:** "Boring people and stupid time wasting questions like this one…"

 **Parameters:**

Strength: B+

Endurance: EX

Agility: B+

Mana: A

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: EX

 **Biography:**

Stanley Ipkiss, a simple bank employee living in Edge City, one day found an old mask, different interpretations of his legend saying he bought it in an old thrift store or it came to him when he walked by a river, pulled along by the waves. When Ipkiss put on the mask on a whim, it turned him into a maniacal green faced engine of destruction with seemingly boundless supernatural powers and impervious to most damage. At first, Ipkiss tried to use these gifts to combat crime, but more often than not he would just brutally massacre those he felt had slighted him personally. Due to Ipkiss' increased head size when he donned the mask, the press came to call him 'Bighead'.

Both Detective Mitch Kellaway of the Edge City police force and the mob sought to stop Bighead's rampages, and the mafia hired a hulking killer named Walter to do the job. The mysterious Walter, a mute brute, was one of the few people able to hurt Bighead with his bare hands, and became the archenemy to both Ipkiss and subsequent Mask users. Eventually, Ipkiss was betrayed and shot dead by his girlfriend Kathy, who was horrified of what he'd become. Kathy took the mask to Kellaway, who at first used it to fight corruption as a more heroic Bighead, until he realized the Mask was corrupting his mind.

Kellaway buried the Mask deep under cement, but it was retrieved by criminals, and the cursed object then began a long path through several other wearers whom it'd drive into murderous mania or more benevolent insanity. At some point it feel into the hands of intergalactic bounty hunter Lobo (also summonable as an Assassin or Berserker), who would use its power to massacre whole planets. Finally, the Mask made it into Gotham City, where it was worn by criminal mastermind The Joker (also summonable as an Assassin or Caster.) The Batman (also summonable as an Avenger) put a halt to the Joker/Mask entity's escapades and handed the mask to Kellaway, who put it to a final rest burying it in Ipkiss' coffin.

As Ipkiss was the Mask user with the longest and best known using streak, he is the one summoned with the Artifact by default.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Mad Enhancement:** C-

This Berserker's Mad Enhancement works in a special way. While it clouds his better judgment and makes him rash, impulsive and nearly impossible to reason with, he will understand clearly what others are trying to tell him. His twisted mind will just generally choose contradicting whatever he is being told to do. As Berserker's physical stats are already fairly impressive, the power boost gained from Mad Enhancement is slight; if applied to his powerless human Ipkiss form (see below), it will increase his Strength to D-.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Divinity:** C

As the creation of Loki tossed upon Midgard to raise confusion and chaos amidst humans, and further subjected to religious worship by at least one primitive tribe, the Mask gives its current wearer a certain degree of divinity, which is lost as soon as it and its host are separated. The Mask itself is also sentient and sapient to a degree, and when separated from Berserker it can talk others into wearing it.

 **Mental Pollution:** D

Berserker's mind, while under the Mask's influence, processes information faster than the average human's, but it is not always assimilated correctly. Communication with Berserker is always possible, and he always will understand the core of what you are trying to say, but even if he agrees with you, odds are his means to carry your orders out will greatly diverge from your intentions. Individuals with high amounts of Mental Pollution of their own have an easier time interacting with Berserker and influencing him.

 **Reality Warping:** EX

The mystic powers of the Mask were so varied and wide they seemed to have no limits to the casual observer. As they include too many different Skills as to be listed separately, they are counted as diverse variations on the same basic principles of reality altering. They comprise speedy flight, the ability to change into perfect duplicates of other individuals, creation of functional items like bombs, chainsaws and huge amounts of guns out of thin air, miss control over individuals and crowds, enlarging and shrinking parts of Berserker's own body, taking vital parts of others' bodies off without hurting them, and devouring objects larger than Berserker himself.

These powers only obeyed certain basic limits, one of them being they only can be displayed within Berserker's immediate visual range and not from longer distances. Additionally, Servants with high levels of Magic Cancel, like Saber Kagurazaka Asuna, can easily negate the effects of Berserker's magic.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **The Mask- Artifact of a Trickster God:** EX

The ever active Noble Phantasm that defines Stanley Ipkiss' existence as a Heroic Spirit. The mask forged by Loki, Norse God of Mischief, and later worshipped by natives, is what grants Berserker his abnormal stats. Should he be forcefully separate from the Mask or convinced to take it off, Ipikss' Parameters all drop down to E, and he loses his Divinity skill. The Mask itself can be worn then by any human being, Heroic Spirit or even animal, granting them all of Berserker's augmented parameters and skills.

Separation from the Mask will not kill Ipkiss, but in this state he is highly vulnerable, and should he die, the Mask will fade away with him.

 **Summon:** "Whoa there! Good evening, I'm Berserker! And you're a Pisces, from the look of it… yeah, a small fish in a biiiiiig pond!"

 **Battle Start:** "Ha-HAH! Someone needs a wedgie!"

 **Victory:** "Sssssssmokin'!"

"Somebody stop me! That won't be you, though!"

 **Defeat:** "S-Somebody stopped me…"

"Walter… Wuzzat you?"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Nice trick, champ…!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:**

"Whooo! That was some ride!" (When taking off the Mask.)

"All right, let's get this show on the road again!" (When putting back the Mask.)

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Do I know you? 'Cause I could swear I've worn your face before…" (When you have Assassin Lobo, Assassin Joker or Caster Joker.)

"Uncle! Hey, look everyone, it's my uncle Goldilocks! Can we take a selfie together, Uncle?" (When you have Berserker Thor.)

"Okay, now this brings to mind a whole lotta questions…" (When you have Berserker Beatrice Flowerchild.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday, pal! Hey, let me take you to a really fancy club tonight! We'll dance all night long 'til we drop… Well, at least 'til **you** drop!"

 **Event:** "Hey now, who are those jerks, and why are they having fun without us?!"

 **Holy Grail:** "Can I wish for _Son of the Mask_ to be deleted from human history? You know it's for everyone's greater good…!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	24. He's on Fire!

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Fantastic Four_ is the creation of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and intellectual property of Marvel Comics.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Four.**

* * *

 **Rider.**

 **True Name:** John 'Johnny' Storm.

 **Other Aliases and Titles:** The Human Torch, Hothead.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Good.

 **Natural Enemy:** Doctor Doom, Namor the Sub-Mariner, Super Skrull, Galactus, Hulk, Annihilus, Blastaar, The Trapster, Kraven the Hunter.

 **Likes:** "Hot girls and fast cars! That's what life is all about, baby!"

 **Dislikes:** "Babysitting after craggy old men made of rock, that's just the worst, man…"

 **Parameters:**

Strength: D

Endurance: C

Agility: B+

Mana: C

Luck: B

Noble Phantasm: C

 **Biography:**

Rocketing into outer space at the behalf of the government of the United States, scientist Reed Richards, ace pilot Benjamin Grimm, Richards' fiancée Susan Storm, and Susan's younger brother Johnny were bombarded by cosmic rays that altered their physiognomies, granting them fantastic powers far above those of common men and women. Richards became the stretching and pliable Mister Fantastic, Grimm turned into a monstrous, super strong Thing, Susan gained the ability to turn invisible and project force fields as the Invisible Woman, and Johnny was now able to wrap himself in flames, turning into a living Human Torch.

Calling themselves the Fantastic Four, the quartet set a headquarters at New York's Baxter Building, where they pioneered several important advancements in sciences and cosmic exploration for the human race. They also helped several of mankind's new superpowered defenders in the New Era of Marvels to combat threats such as despot Doctor Doom, alien deity Galactus the World Devourer, time traveling Rama-Tut (also known as Kang), Omega Level entity The Beyonder, and mad titan Thanos, among others.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Riding:** B+

The ability to ride and drive animals or vehicles. In Storm's case, the skill is greatly augmented when handling motorized modern vehicles. Rider is a skilled, seasoned race car driver, an aerial pilot with astronautic experience, and a man able to drive the likes of Reed Richards' complex Fantasti-Car and Avengers Quinjets. Being born a millionaire, he also has been taught the equestrian practices, and is competent enough at horseriding, but lacks the skills to ride phantasmal beasts or dragons.

 **Magic Resistance:** D-

Although well used to fighting Doctor Doom, second only to Stephen Strange in the running for Sorcerer Supreme in his Earth, Rider never developed any meaningful level of shieding against the mystic arts in his lifetime. Only the most basic unchanted spells can be ignored and fought through, and Rider is powerless to energy manipulation, body transformation, and magics from the Age of Gods.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Golden Rule:** B

The son of a wealthy businessman and patron for the sciences, Johnny grew up rather spoiled, a clear embodiment of what others in his time would call 'rich in dollars but poor in sense'. His posterior association with Reed Richards and his roles as an actor and race car professional driver meant he never was hard pressed for money in life. Rider can access bank accounts anywhere in the world, but the value of his wealth increases when in the United States of America, and decreases drastically in Eastern Europe and the Balkans.

 **Pioneer of the Stars:** B+

A Skill shared by all members of the Fantastic Four. The foursome were a frequent traveler of the unknown depths of outer space, entering in repeated contact with alien species such as the Skrulls, the Shi'Ar, the Kree and the Beyonders. Their first flight through Earth's atmosphere and beyond bathed them with cosmic energy mutating into the first superheroes of a new Golden Age of Heroism for their world. The Four's experiences and discoveries helped all of mankind enter a new stage of union with the rest of the universe. Rider also once travelled into the domains of planet devouring cosmic entity Galactus, with the help of Uatu the Watcher, to retrieve the Ultimate Nullifier, one of the most powerful artifacts in existence.

 **Flame On:** A

Rider's powers allow him near complete manipulation of the primordial element of fire. Fire based abilities and Noble Phantasms can be altered and even turned against their own users by Johnny's mental commands, unless they outrank this Skill. In any event, Rider cannot be damaged by any sort of fire not from divine origins.

When sheathed in his own blazes, Rider gains the capacity to fly with B+ ranked Agility. He also can shoot fireballs from his hands, although elaborate constructions are usually out of his range of control. Touching Rider while in this state is usually extremely harmful, and the same can be said about the trail of fire he will leave behind as he flies, until it dissipates moments afterwards.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Super Nova- The Power of a Living Star:** C

The ultimate expression of Rider's control over fire. Rider unleashes a massive explosion of flames all around himself, estimated to be as hot as those found at the core of the Solar System's Sun. While at first Richards thought there would be a high risk of it scorching the whole of Earth's atmosphere, Rider can exert enough control over it, furthered by his summon as a Servant, as to render it a mere Noble Phantasm able to hit up to twenty different targets at a time, within Rider's field of view.

This Noble Phantasm is better used outdoors, as indoors there is a solid chance Rider's hold over its after effects may diminish, to the degree of him damaging or even killing his Master or any allied Servants without him intending to.

 **Summon:** "Ohhhh... Hey there, how do you? I'm Rider, but you can call me Johnny. I can tell you and I are good to be a great team already!"

 **Battle Start:** "Flame ON!"

 **Victory:** "Your own fault! You played with fire... You got burned!"

"Whoa, it WAS clobberin' time, and Ben wasn't even here!"

 **Defeat:** "Dammit... It wasn't supposed to end like this…"

"Not bad... I have to give you that..."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I, I, I feel... so cold..."

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:**

"Okay, now let's get cooking! I'm gonna scorch you to the ground! Take this... SUPER NOVA!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Doom! That's Doom! Are you crazy, why do you have that tinhead maniac here with us?!" (When you have Caster Doctor Doom.)

"Oh man, King Arthur was much hotter than Stark and the Black Knight ever said! Heh heh..." (When you have Saber Artoria, Lancer Artoria, or Lancer Artoria Alter.)

"Blackbeard? No, no, buddy, obviously you've gotta it wrong. You're a phony! My friend Benjy was Blackbeard, this time we went to the past and- Hey, don't laugh at me, dirty old man!" (When you have Rider Blackbeard.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday! You're lucky I'm here, I've always been known to throw the best parties in New York! You can drink already, can't you?"

 **Event:** "That doesn't sound like a very funny party, bummer... But! If there are bad guys to kick, that's what we heroes are here for, right?"

 **Holy Grail:** "I don't know... I'm already perfect as I am! Maybe I'll just ask for Ben to change back, but I doubt Ugly wil be thankful anyway!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	25. Better than Jesse Ventura

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Final Fight_ is the creation and intellectual property of Capcom (Capsule Computer.)

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Five.**

* * *

 **Lancer.**

 **True Name:** Michael 'Mike' Haggar.

 **Other Titles and Aliases:** Macho Haggar.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Attribute:** Human.

 **Alignment:** Neutral Good.

 **Natural Enemy:** The Mad Gear Gang, Zangief the Red Cyclone.

 **Likes:** "Justice, equality, peace and freedom for everyone! My daughter's smile, too! Also, hamburgers and curry rice!"

 **Dislikes:** "Gangland crime, naturally! I have no tolerance for gangbangers and street thugs, do you?"

 **Parameters:**

Strength: B

Endurance: B-

Agility: E+

Mana: D

Luck: C

Noble Phantasm: C-

 **Biography:**

Once a superstar of several major wrestling circuits, Mike 'Macho' Haggar was known as one of the foremost Saturday Night Slam Masters, global entertainers dealing in highly choreographed violence. However, his aspirations ran higher than most, and eventually he was elected Mayor of Metro City, a crime ridden metropolis controlled by merciless gang Mad Gear. To keep the new Mayor under their thumb, Mad Gear kidnapped Haggar's beloved daughter Jessica, but Haggar set out to free him herself, aided by Jessica's suitor Cody and justice loving ninja Guy. They rescued Jessica and exposed millionaire philantrophist Belger (also summonable as Archer or Avenger) as the true leader of the criminal organization. Belger died during his showdown with Haggar, but returned to life shortly after as a decaying zombie, who orchestrated a plan to frame Cody and have him arrested. Haggar and his allies put an end to Belger himself again, now definitely, but they were powerless to free Cody from an unfair sentence.

Life continued for Haggar and he and his young friend Carlos helped Guy and fellow ninja Maki to rescue Guy's fiancee and Maki's sister Lena, plus the young women's father Genryusai, from crime overlord Retsu, a quest that took them all over the world. Not long afterwards, Mike, mystery man Dean, and Haggar's protegee, policewoman Lucia, defeated the terrorist organization Skull Cross, which had moved in to fill the power vacuum left in the Metro underground by Mad Gear.

Shortly after his successful second tenure as Mayor, Haggar retired from politics and opened a gym in the outskirts of Metro City. During his leave, the city slumped back into vice and corruption, and citizens slowly forgot Haggar, a fact he greatly bemoaned. However, Cody's younger brother Kyle, investigating his brother's mysterious disappearance, cleaned the city back with assistance from Haggar, and shortly afterwards, Haggar used his influences to make the pardoned Cody run a successful bid as the new Mayor, ushering into a new era of prosperity and peace for the city.

Not so long after, Earth was attacked by Doctor Doom and Albert Wesker, both brought together in an unholy alliance to summon Galactus the World Devourer to Earth and steal his power for themselves. After successfully repelling Doom, Wesker and Galactus, Haggar, inspired by the noble Captain America (also summonable as Shielder or Rider), ran for presidency of the United States of America, with Anthony 'Iron Man' Stark (also summonable as Caster or Archer) as his running mate. They won, and Haggar became a highly beloved and popular president, albeit not one without his share of controversy.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Magic Resistance:** E

Lancer's only known experience battling the supernatural came from the conflict against Galactus, where he helped the other heroes fight Dormammu and Doctor Doom, both worthwhile foes for the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth. However, as he never fought either of them directly one on one, Lancer never developed any meaningful level of shieding against the mystic arts in his lifetime. Only the most basic unchanted spells can be ignored and fought through, and Lancer is utterly powerless against energy manipulation, body transformation, and magics from the Age of Gods.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Military Tactics:** D

The ability to direct and steer others in combat through the use of strategy. A straightforward thinker favoring direct approaches, Lancer remains effective in his simplicity. He excels at guerrilla warfare tactics and ambushes employing smaller teams of combatants over commanding large teams, but he can be quite inspiring and insightful, able to read an enemy army's main weaknesses snd strengths after relatively short contact with them.

 **Charisma:** C

An ingrained aptitude to lead and influence others. Lancer was a charismatic personality of the ring, honing his people skills through boastful, bombastic speeches to his audience, which cemented his position as a 'Face' fighter in circuits all around the planet. A bonafide figure of leadership for good even when rules need to be bent or downright broken, the nature of doing good for good's sake. Hence this Skill drops to E when dealing with Chaotic Evil individuals, which will automatically tend to think of Lancer as an enemy. Eventually, his personal charm and capacity for powerful speeches led Lancer to presidency of the world's most powerful nation in his time; however, he cannot wield the same presence of leadership as a successful king or emperor, and his Charisma decreases greatly if his audience should perceive his promises have not been fulfilled.

 **Urban Warfare:** A

The capacity to turn any urban environment, no matter the era it came from or the species that built it, uinto favorable grounds for the development of one's campaign. Lancer was one with Metro City, and also fought through the streets of New York, Hong Kong, Amsterdam, Paris, London, Venice, Rome and Tokyo. He can take anything within reach while in a city and employ itas a lethal weapon, from trash cans to traffic lights and manhole covers, turning them into lesser, miniature Noble Phantasms. The bigger and more populated the city Lancer finds himself in, the more effective the Skill becomes. However, this Skill is rendered useless in deserts, unpopulated coastlines, forests, jungles, plains, thundras and prairies.

Lancer's favored weapon of choice gained from one such urban cesspool, and the one that granted him entry into this Class, is a rusty long metal pipe he will always carry on himself. He is particularly skilled with it, being able to use it as a garrote, thrusting weapon, or even a jumping pole.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Spinning Clothesline:** C-

Lancer's signature and favorite attack move, one he developed and honed through years of ringside combat. Lancer spins around on his heels turning into a deadly human lariat, his mighty arms twirling around and punching whoever or whatever he comes across. The attack can be started and stopped at any moment at Lancer's will and has a low mana consumption. He also can perform it while crouching, to hit enemies who are shorter than him, and even while jumping and in mid-air. He also can use it to plow unscathed through minor magical spells and projectiles.

 **Spinning Piledriver:** C+

A devastating move copied from famous Russian wrestler Zangief, an action Haggar thought fair since Zangief had earlier copied his Spinning Clothesline technique. This move was created to wrestle might polar bears, and catches the opponent into a choking grip, securing them in place before Lancer throws himself up into the air with them, then spinning downwards and smashing the adversary against the ground, dealing massive damage.

A Personal move, able to be used only on one enemy at a time. Due to Lancer's status as a Heroic Spirit, he can easily lift any enemy through this Noble Phantasm no matter their size, even if they would happen to be stronger than him otherwise; however, the damage itself dealt by the move's conclusion will indeed depend on the opponent's endurance and strenght.

 **Summon:** "The crowd goes wild! The squared circle trembles! The living legend returns! Oh yeah! It's me, Servant Lancer! And you are my Master, I suppose!"

 **Battle Start:** "Hold back if you want. It's your funeral."

 **Victory:** "Ha hah! Well done!"

"Don't bother getting up. Hardly worth your effort!"

 **Defeat:** "Looks like... I'm down for the count…"

"I admit defeat. You should try your hand at the ring..."

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Damn you! I was so close...!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:**

"Eat a knuckle sandwich, pal! SPINNING CLOTHESLINE!"

"I'll take you for a spin! SPINNING PILEDRIVER!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"What the hell! Doctor Doom! What's that pinhead doing with us?! He's as bad as they come!" (When you have Caster Doctor Doom.)

"Bwa hah hah! A lucha libre señorita, huh? Come on! What if we have a spar? It won't be the first time I've wrestled a god!" (When you have Rider Quetzalcoatl or Ruler Quetzalcoatl.)

"That fighting stare! Those fists! That stance! Very well, I accept your challenge! Huh? S-Sorry, have I offended? The way you looked at me, I honestly thought...!" (When you have Rider Martha or Ruler Martha.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy Birthday, Master! Today, I'm teaching you how to wrestle, all day long, how's that about for a gift? Come on! In this line of work, you've got to be ready for everything, you know! You need to train your body more!"

 **Event:** "Stay behind me at all times. This might get dangerous..."

 **Holy Grail:** "Jessica... It would be so nice, to see her again... I miss my baby so much..."

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	26. Get Along

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Slayers_ is the creation and intellectual property of Kanzaka Hajime, Araizumi Rui and Fujimi Shobo.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Six.**

* * *

 **Caster.**

 **True Identity:** Lina Inverse.

 **Other Titles and Aliases:** The Bandit Killer, The Dragon Spooker, The Enemy of All Living Things, Lina the Pink.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Neutral.

 **Attribute:** Earth.

 **Likes:** Money, food, tall and handsome men, food and money, fancy clothes she'll only use once, money and food.

 **Dislikes:** Slugs, demons, women with huge breasts.

 **Natural Enemy:** Rezo the Red Priest, Hellmaster Phibrizzo, Naga the White Serpent, Luna Inverse.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: D+

Endurance: C+

Agility: B

Mana: A++

Luck: B

Noble Phantasm: A+

 **Biography:**

Born in the countryside of Zephilia from humble and hardworking merchants, Lina Inverse grew up a happy, spirited girl with a developing love (read- greed) for money. Her older sister Luna (also summonable as a Saber, Lancer, Caster or Ruler), known as the Knight of Ceiphied, had incredible, unqualified magical talent dwarfing even Lina's, but Luna had no interest whatsoever in the many adventures constantly involving her with the fate of the world in stake, and would rather choose the quiet life of a waitress in her village's restaurant to that of a paladin. Luna was incredibly beautiful in addition to being hot tempered, and when Lina, then twelve years old, opened a peeping hole in her bath for the villagers to look at her nude body after charging them for it, Luna flew into a savage fury, brutally beating Lina up and prompting Lina to flee their hometown, forever traumatized at her sister.

Lina soon gained fame for herself as a bounty hunter and mage for hire, a fearsome foe whose budding legend often distorted her true age and appearance—regrettably, this has not lent her the Innocent Monster skill allowing her to look as busty as some retellings of her story claimed. Early in her mercenary career, she established a lasting partnership and rivalry with Naga the White Serpent (also summonable as a Caster or Temptress), a buxom, vain gorgeous sorceress, who annoyed Lina even more than she annoyed Naga. Despite them being a major threat to each other, they traveled the world together for two years before parting ways. Lina did not remain alone for long, however, as she soon met Gourry Gabriev (also summonable as a Saber), a handsome and incredibly skilled, strong and loyal young swordsman who also happened to be remarkably stupid and forgetful, but more to Lina's liking as a partner she could easily sway around.

Lina and Gourry became even more infamous as their travels led them to battle several Hell Lords bent on destroying the world and their minions. Along the way they gained allies like half golem swordsman and wizard Zelgadiss Graywords (also summonable as Caster or Saber), Princess Amelia Will Tesla of Seyruun (also summonable as a Caster) and the enigmatic priest Xellos Metallium (normally not summonable because… that is a secret.) At some point of their legend they basically disappeared from the record with no explanation, their true whereabouts and final outcome a mystery.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Territory Creation:** D-

Caster was a traveling mage who didn't like ever tying herself to a single place. As such, she never saw the need to set up a workshop or laboratory, and tended to regard those belonging to other wizards with disdain, finding them boring and only having interest on whatever riches or curiosities they held. Any workshop Caster is forced to make will most likely be shoddy, ill equipped, and badly fortified against intrusions.

 **Item Creation:** B-

While having no aptitudes whatsoever for alchemy, Caster is skilled at taking magical artifacts and improving on them on the fly, without the need for a workshop. Creation of magical items upon common artifacts is also possible even if far less likely. In this regard Caster was fond of what later would be called the Indy Ploy or Batman Gambit, developing magical devices as they were needed during a certain circumstance or campaign, according to her needs at the time. She is a true genius but with little patience to hone these skills in a long term basis.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Swordsmanship:** C-

A competent fighter even without her magic, Caster was remarkably strong for someone as petite, and never was without a sheathed sword by her side. While nowhere as skilled with a blade as Zelgadiss or especially Gourry, she still was a reasonably skilled fencer.

 **Mistress of Black Magic:** A+

Caster is extremely skilled at all varieties of attack and combat magic, even if her healing skills are rather lacking, and her capacities to perform transformations upon living beings or objects is inexistent. She's got an extremely wide repertory of devastating magical attacks that can be set to stun, hurt or kill at will, and she has the speed incantation of a mage from the Age of Gods. Her forte relies on spell based on fire and darkness, at which he excels. She even can abbreviate several spells that would require long enchantments from lesser mages, and her arsenal includes but is not limited to:

 _Fire Ball_ : Caster's default and most frequent attack, a fast and powerful burst of flame that can be spammed repeatedly and consumes relatively little mana in each incantation.

 _Drill Brand:_ Magical energy tightened to function as a drilling force applied upon the adversary.

 _Big Bolt:_ A massive electrical discharge that can be sent flying horizontally, upwards or downwards.

 _Ray Wing:_ An air based spell that allows for speedy flight across long stretches of travel. Caster can fly carrying up to two passengers at a time, whether she is grabbing them or they are holding onto her.

 _Val Flare:_ A razing fire based spell, of bigger and wider range than _Fire Ball_ , but also slightly slower and far more demanding on prana.

 _Bomb Di Wind:_ Another wind based spell that makes the ground under the enemy's feet to shatter and explode upwards through an expanding mass of compressed air.

 _Ragna Blade:_ A gigantic double edged black sword materializing between Caster's hands, formed from demonic energy and able to cleave through almost anything or anyone, even divine beings and constructs. It might be used as an A ranked Noble Phantasm, but the limitations of the Chaldea summon system have degraded it to a standard, but still more powerful than the norm, magical attack. It only can be cancelled by A+ or higher Magic Resistance.

 **Dragon Spooker** : A

In life Caster was renowned as a hunter and exterminator of magical beasts with no peer. Dragons were her specialty, although she also was highly efficient against demons, trolls, chimeras, orcs and werebeasts. When facing against these creatures, Caster gains a stun ability allowing her to immobilize her opponent for one turn, making them into easier preys. Due to her fear of slugs and her rival Naga using golems as one of her specialties, however, this effect turns back on her whenever Caster fights such creatures, making her easy pickings for them. This also applies to humanoid manmade creations like Frankenstein's Monster, and encounters with Summer Saber Frankenstein are especially to be avoided.

 **Bandit Killer:** B

A skill similar to Dragon Spooker, but applied on sapient beings of dubious morality and criminal pursuits. Caster was also a notable enemy of outlaws and thieves, being an officially sanctioned mage and hailing from a hardworking family. Even if she won't do manual jobs herself, part of her still values the traditions of honest fellows and despises those who would steal from them. Those who steal from the rich receive more lenience, but are not completely immune either, since Caster was often paid by potentates to dispose of would be thieves threatening their wealth.

Caster was often quoted to say 'Bandits have no human rights!' and see nothing bad in stealing FROM THEM after beating them up. In combat, this translates to thieves of all sorts losing concentration and experiencing penalties of one rank in every parameter while confronted by Caster; should she reveal her True Identity to them, the Skill will be ranked A instead. Noble outlaws like Robin Hood receive lesser penalties. It is possible to overcome this Skill for bandits and criminals with the skills Bravery, Determination, or Mental Pollution. Also, once defeated, Caster will take all items they have on them and gain the same mastery over them the thieves had.

Later in her recorded life, Caster traveled the seas and became a Pirate Killer for a time. This Skill thus also applies to pirate Legendary Spirits like Rider Blackbeard, Rider Drake, the Rider and Archer versions of Anne Bonnie and Mary Read, Rider Captain Hook and Rider Jack Sparrow. Rider Columbus, being a legit even if questionable sailor, suffers no penalties whatsoever from this Skill. If confronted on their own ships, the effectiveness of this Skill against pirates rises to A+.

 **Noble Phantasms:**

 **Dragon Slave:** A+

Anti-Mountain, Anti-Army. Able to kill up to 500 enemies at once and level a whole small city. A gigantic explosion, drawing mana extracted from one fragment of sleeping demon lord Shabranigudu. Caster's signature ultimate attack, originally designed millennia before her time as the best way to slay a dragon; its original title was Dragon Slayer, but the term was corrupted over the centuries. As it drains energy from an external source, the cost in mana for the Master is comparatively low for such a powerful spell. Next to Fire Ball, this was Caster's favorite incantation.

 **Giga Slave:** EX

Anti-World. A devastating sealed Noble Phantasm taking power from the Lord of Nightmares, the supreme deity of Chaos who created Caster's world. In life, Caster used it only twice as the last resource against otherwise invincible demonic foes bent on destroying her world, who overwhelmed her and her companions. By casting this spell, Caster becomes the vessel for the golden goddess, and according to the deity's ever fluctuating whims, she could destroy the universe herself, save it by obliterating Caster's adversary, or destroying the enemy and Caster alike but sparing the world. Due to it being extremely dangerous to everyone and the limits of the Servant system, Caster cannot use the Noble Phantasm even against Beasts or compelled by all three Command Seals; the only way for her to pull it off is to be allowed access by the gods of the Singularity or Lostbelt she finds herself in at the time.

 **Summon:** "Yoo hoo! It's me, Lina Inverse, the most beautiful Caster in the whole world! You're lucky to have me as a partner! … call me your Servant and you'll die."

 **Victory:** "See? That's what happens when you force a pretty girl's delicate hand too much!"

"Another day, another job well done!"

 **Defeat:** "I knew… I should've eaten more before coming…"

"My battle can't end this way…"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm: "** Gourry…! Sister…!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** _"_ _Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond the blood that flows. Buried in the stream of time. In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness. Let the fools who stand before use be destroyed by the power you and I possess... DRAGON SLAVE!"_

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Ugh, what's with those disgusting bags of flesh… Why'd you have someone like that around? Is that your fetish, you sicko?! Don't you know those huge things pull body matter away from the brain…!?" (When you have Anne Bonnie, Rider Francis Drake, Archer Artemis, Minamoto no Raikou, Lancer Artoria Pendragon, or Lancer Artoria Pendragon Alter.)

 ** _"…!-!-!"_** (When you have Alter Ego Passionlip.)

"'Oh ho ho ho ho'... Ugh! Out of all the people in the universe, why did you have to summon precisely this one?! You did it only to mess with me, didn't you, rat bastard?!" (When you have Caster Naga the White Serpent.)

 **Birthday:** "Happy birthday! What, a gift? Don't be stupid, do I look like I'm made of money? I have something much better for you! I'm going to teach you magic! You're going to learn from the best, you know!"

 **Event:** "Ching, ching, ching, I can hear and smell the gold coins dropping all the way from here, tee hee… Come on, partner! There's business to be had!"

 **Holy Grail:** "I'd sell it to the highest bidder, of course! There's no point on wishing for all the money in the world, that's just too easy. At the same time, a treasure like that just can't be wasted away. And I can't just have it at home as a decoration piece, right? So selling it for a fortune is the only sane answer, don't you think?"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	27. This am not Berserker!

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Superman_ is the creation of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster and intellectual property of DC Comics.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Seven.**

* * *

 **Berserker.**

 **True Identity:** Bizarro Number One.

 **Other Titles and Aliases:** Bizarro Superman, The Idiot of Steel.

 **Alignment:** True Chaotic.

 **Gender:** Male.

 **Attribute:** Sky.

 **Natural Enemy:** Superman.

 **Likes:** Dogs, especially puppies and Krypto.

 **Dislikes:** Humans.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: A+

Endurance: A+

Agility: A

Mana: E

Luck: E

Noble Phantasm: A

 **Biography:**

Spurred by his burning hatred of Superman (also summonable as a Saver), multimillionaire criminal Lex Luthor (also summonable as a Caster) hatched many a nefarious scheme during his lifetime. One of those with the most lasting consequences had him cloning a duplicate of Earth's main defender and champion at the time, harvested from tissue samples left by the Metropolis Marvel at the scenes of his skirmishes with other evildoers. However, the resulting creature could not be cloned adequately, due to lack of complete understanding of Kryptonian DNA. The monstrous being that emerged from the procedure was labeled 'bizarre' by Luthor, and it named itself Bizarro, believing that to be his proper appellation.

Bizarro rampaged through the streets of Metropolis, soon engaging Superman himself in fierce combat. However, a combination of Superman's superior intelligence and the creature's unstable genetics granted the Man of Steel the victory, and Bizarro was believed dead for several monts. Eventually, he resurfaced, going after ace reporter Lois Lane, for whom he had developed crude romantic feelings. This time, Superman tricked Bizarro into becoming the protector of a distant, barren planet, a role his duplicate latched onto eagerly, needy to prove himself as a Superman on his own. Regardless, often manipulated by beings like bounty hunter Lobo and interdimensional imp Mr. Mxyzptlk, Bizarro returned to Earth several times, always clashing with Superman and the Justice League and always being defeated. His final rampage was the most brutal of all; after devastating his own Bizarro World, Bizarro went on a killing spree through Metropolis, challenging Superman to a final duel, at the end of which Bizarro killed himself using blue Kryptonite.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Mad Enhancement:** B

Berserker's fury is a terrifying thing to behold, indeed. Overall, he is in a semi-permanent state of confusion and mild anger, unable to be at ease with a world he doesn't comprehend and which can't grasp his reasoning in return. He's easily pliable with basic showings of affection and guidance, much like an overgrown child, but the phrasing itself of how one addresses him must be calculated carefully. His behavior and degree of grasp on reality both fluctuate, but generally speaking it's for the best to speak to him with harsh words, which he will interpret the opposite way, but also in a soft tone and with measured gestures of affability.

Berserker's furious rampages are even easier to trigger, and during them he is practically unstoppable, his Strength rising to A++.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Kryptonian Physiology:** A+

As he was cloned from Superman, Berserker shares most of his unique physical traits. He is near invulnerable, super strong, and faster than a speeding bullet. His only real weaknesses, other than his stupidity, are magic, the blue variant of Kryptonite, and red sunlight radiation, which robs him of his powers. He can last hours without breathing underwater or in outer space. He has superior hearing, telescopic and microscopic eyesight, and X-ray vision, although his control over these powers is occasionally fickle and feeble. Bullets, even those shot by other Heroic Spirits, won't even cause minimal damage, and he an easily tank through most explosive Noble Phantasms totally unscathed.

Despite his stupidity, he also retains small shreds of Superman's keen intellect, and he may behave at times like an idiot savant, able to design and build complicated and highly functional contraptions following his own demented set of logics.

 **Clone Degeneration:** A

Due to LexCorp's inability to completely copy Superman's Kryptonian DNA matrix in a fully accurate way, Berserker is a defective clone. His brain is addled and slow working, reducing his speed and Agility. His powers also work in ways slightly different from Superman's, as he has heat breath that makes him able to spit flames like a dragon, and ice vision, shooting freezing beams out of his eyes.

Mostly, this Skill affects him negatively, as his Saint Graph is inferior to Superman's. He can survive less time without a Master than him, and he is even more vulnerable to magic and sonics.

 **Bizarro Code of Anti-Ethics:** A

A strange variant of Mental Pollution. It does not grant or guarantee communication with other Servants given Mental Pollution, although a few of the more intelligent ones, like the Joker, can find ways around Berserker's unique mindset to influence and manipulate him. Berserker's twisted mind will usually work backwards, understanding everything as its absolute opposite. He claims hatred towards those he loves, feels offended when praised, and while he retains just enough lucidity as to protect his allies and attack his foes, he is fickle and will easily turn on others over any perceived slight. Generally, he will get along better with animals, which are not easily confused by his inverted logic. There is always a solid risk of Berserker turning against a Master who doesn't understand the way his mindset works, and he will sincerely misread Command Seals to do the complete opposite of what he has been told to do.

When truly enraged, Berserker can be downright murderous, unlike Superman, who always valued the sanctity of life. He will giggle and comment childishly on the destruction he is causing, as he lacks enough awareness of others' suffering as to experience true empathy for any but those closest to him.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Bizarro World:** A

Berserker's Reality Marble. The maximum expression of a completely distorted mind, tapping on the legend of a world created by Berserker himself in the depths of outer space, after an exile from Earth, and on the surface of a barren planet. Some stories say Berserker called this planet Htrae, but it is better known as Bizarro World. Using technology stolen from LexCorp, he may have populated this planet with creatures copied from Earth's inhabitants who followed his own set of backwards values, but other than Batzarro, his 'worst enemy' and a flawed copy of the Batman, most versions of the legend seem to deem these beings as nonexistent.

The Reality Marble alters the landscape around Berserker, moved by his desperate whims for a place to belong to and his delusions. Whoever is trapped inside will have their perceptions altered to the point of crippling incapacity; attempts to jump up will make them crouch down, healing spells will turn harmful to the caster and their allies, all attacks directed onto Berserker will only further empower him. Just breathing its air is poisonous for anyone but Berserker himself. Since the Reality Marble is as unstable as its creator, it will eventually explode, leaving Berserker himself unscathed but adding further massive damage upon all those trapped in with him.

 **Summon:** "Goodbye! Me am not a Master of the Bizarro class! My true identity am not a Berserker! You ask of me, am you my Servant?"

 **Start of Battle:** "Bye-Bye! I am not Bizarro! World's greatest hero! Worse than Superman! So now I kill you and all you love!"

 **Victory:** "I am not sorry! But you win and I lose!"

"Oh no! Servant will be cross at I now! Servant will be disappointed on Bizarro!"

 **Defeat:** "Hooray! Me won…!"

"I must not congratulate you on your defeat!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "I feel… strong… Not so bad… Hello, Servant. Hello…"

 **Special Dialogue:**

"I heard you am weak! Am you? Well, Bizarro am weakest one there is! Let's not fight!" (When you have Berserker Heracles.)

"My Big Pony! Bizarro just **_hate_** ugly horses…!" (When you have Rider Princess Celestia or Caster Twilight Sparkle.)

"Me dislike you! You am great talking with! Let's be enemies!" (When you have Berserker Lu Bu or Berserker Darius III.)

 **Birthday:** "Unhappy birthday! Me hope it am last one!"

 **Event:** "Me don't want to go! You no follow Bizarro there, Servant! Worry, no matter what, you will protect me!"

 **Holy Grail:** "Me no want stupid shiny cup! Stupid shiny cup be like genie, wrong? Ah, Bizarro would no wish for a Lois of his own… Lois…!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	28. The Queen of the Internet

_Fate Grand Order_ is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Mahou Sensei Negima!_ is the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

* * *

Special thanks to Shadow Crystal Mage.

* * *

 **Still Better than Black Keys.**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Eight.**

* * *

 **Alter Ego.**

 **True Identity:** Hasegawa Chisame.

 **Other Names and Aliases:** Chiu, Chiu-tan, Chiu-sama, Chi-chan, Glasses.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Alignment:** Neutral Good.

 **Attribute:** Man.

 **Likes:** "Computers, small efficient artifacts."

 **Dislikes:** "Noisy and indecisive people, gossip."

 **Natural Enemy:** Fate Averruncus, Sextum Averruncus, Ialda Baoth.

 **Parameters:**

Strength: D-

Endurance: E

Agility: C-

Mana: A

Luck: C

Noble Phantasm: B

 **Biography:**

Hasegawa Chisame was an antisocial girl more concerned with what she did in the Internet than real life. When she had to deal with real life, she wanted it to be as bland and normal as possible, with no super-powered aliens from America, Magical Girls from Tokyo, Kaiju barreling down the Ginza or what have you cluttering it up. Thus, being assigned to then-class 1-A was a pain to her, due to all the weird foreigners, Lolis, Saotome Haruna, and, oh yeah, THE ROBOT IN THE CLASS THAT NO ONE SEEMED TO NOTICE, HONESTLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, ARE YOU FRICKIN' BLIND?-!

It would later become obvious in hindsight that it was inevitable the universe would screw her over.

She thought her life had only gotten worse when she learned her class would also be saddled with, of all things, a child teacher. On a particularly stressful day, she inadvertently revealed her identity as Net Idol Chiu-sama to him, though Negi didn't really see what the significance was, and the stress of this would later be overshadowed by her first involuntary public exhibitionism, courtesy of Negi.

She would remain below the radar for the next several months, only to have Negi thrust viciously into her private life again during the Mahora Festival, at the cosplay-event that would be recorded in history as Chiu-sama's first public appearance. While it ended disastrously with her costume falling off and leaving her in her lingerie, it gave her much needed self-confidence, and became the first of many such appearances.

It was during Mahorafest that she deduced the existence of mages and magic, and proceeded to attempt to counter Chao's viral marketing scheme, ostensibly to keep the world 'normal', but was unsuccessful. Because of this, however, she would become embroiled with the group that would later become Ala Alba.

After they were caught in Chao's trap in Evangeline's resort, Chisame was the first to deduce that it was no longer Mahorafest, displaying observation skills far exceeding Sakurazaki Setsuna's own. With her assistance, Chamo the Ermine was able to formulate a plan to return them to the past to a defeat Chao's plans.

Back in the past, Chisame initiated a Pactio with Negi, and acted to remove Chao's influence over the Academy's systems, fighting Chachamaru in a digital battlefield with the unknowing assistance of Makie and Ayaka. Though she managed to hack Chachamaru's defenses, it was too late, and only Negi's victory over Chao allowed them to stop her.

Chisame would then, allegedly against her will, begin spending more time with Negi's cadre, reluctantly asking how to use her Pactio and Tsunderely going with them to Wales.

The incident at the Megalomesembria City Gateport led to her being teleported to a distant part of Mundus Magicus, where she encountered a clothes-eating land octopus and attacked, until the timely rescue of Negi and Chachamaru. For the duration of their stay in Mundus Magicus, she acted as Negi's advisor, big sister, and close companion.

In the end, she, like the rest of Ala Alba, was instrumental in the defeat of Kosmo Entelekhia. Things, however, did not settle down. She was revealed to be Negi's actual love interest and he proposed to her, only to be rejected by a nervous Chisame. Depending on the timeline and version of their legend, she either died in battle years later protecting Negi from his nemesis the Mage of the Beginning, or married him and they lived happily ever after.

Since Chisame was never a frontline fighter for Ala Alba, she was not as well known by the masses as her more active teammates. Her cyberspace persona Chiu, the sensual cosplayer, was more popular than her, and Chisame uses the legend of her virtual personality as the basis for her Saint Graph. Ironically, she has become the Alter Ego of her alter ego, something she does not appreciate particularly.

 **Class Skills:**

 **Territory Creation:** C-

Alter Ego can create a computer workshop for herself with relative ease, and is actually more powerful fortified within it. The workshop will have little to nothing in the way of active defenses, but it will be extremely difficult to find for Servants without the Eye of the Mind or Instinct skills, or Moon Cancers or Alter Egos of the Sakura Five varieties. Alter Ego excels at launching cyberspace attacks and gathering information from these workshops.

 **Independent Action:** C

The ability that allows a Servant independent movement even after the magical energy supply is cut off from their Master. In Alter Ego's case, the skill is explained by her independent, often borderline rebellious attitude compared to the rest of Ala Alba, and the fact she could survive alone in a Mundus Magicus jungle for days even without any previous experience at it.

With rank C, it is possible for this Servant to survive one day, and two and a half within her workshop, after losing her Master and without contracting a new one.

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Hacking:** A+

Alter Ego is an accomplished hacker, and pursuit of her online cosplaying hobby has rendered as well a photographer, seamstress, photo manipulator, and trope lampshader, plus able of a Narusegawa-grade bitch-slap or sucker punch. She has superhuman levels of common sense and rationality, and is known to have a good practical understanding of human nature. Her advice is highly valued, though seldom sought immediately. This has less to do with her advice and more to do with how people around her can be idiots.

Her Pactio with Negi allows her a telepathic interface with any electronic and electronically-controlled device. Her Artifact is magically capable of integrating processor technologies into its structure, and has been upgraded with 22nd century Martian computer tech. By itself, her Artifact is one of the most powerful computers on the planet, but purely in terms of processing. Alter Ego must generate her own programs, which she must store in another unit.

The Artifact allows for multiple users, and is effectiveness is actually increased the more users it has. It also gives her command of seven electron spirits, who, while not very bright, greatly assist her in her hacking, and are capable of radically increasing the processing power of any device they possess. Additionally, it manifests as a magical scepter that grants her powers over electricity and the ability to manipulate virtually any kind of machinery.

Her powers include the capacity to travel through a virtual Internet subspace as well, but her natural mistrust of magic, her reluctance to try new things, and leftovers from her trauma of her first Internet experience have made her unwilling to use this ability.

 **Tools of Seduction:** A

While quiet and unremarkable in her daily life, Alter Ego is a true young beauty, with a high dose of sexual charisma she could easily exploit as an Internet cosplayer to become a secret idol of the World Wide Web. She is an expert on using wardrobe changes and makeup to put others under her thrall with a skill rivaling that of Servants from the Temptress class.

As for her own sexuality, Alter Ego claims to be strictly heterosexual with no interest on little boys. Few were fooled in her lifetime. With Negi, she shared the center of a most complicated Love Polygon involving Hakase Satomi, Yukihiro Ayaka, Kakizaki Misa, and pretty much every girl in the Academy. And a few boys, too. Those two were popular, after all.

She kissed with Kagurazaka Asuna (also summonable as a Saber) to shake off hordes of love potion struck admirers (it seemed a good idea at the time!) and was groped by Haruna (then again, who in their class wasn't ever?) She never got around to actually killing Haruna over it, so probably she liked it to some degree.

 **Bravery:** A

Alter Ego was, despite her relative lack of actual combat prowesses, one of the most psychologically driven Ala Alba members once she put her mind on it. She led a strike onto the ruins of Old Ostia along Negi, and once subdued a rampaging, superhuman berserker Negi infused with the darkness of Magia Erebea by simply slapping the strong beast in the face. She will not flinch back from any enemy as long as her Master or loved ones are in danger, which will give her adversaries pause and possibly set them up for quick counterattacks from Alter Ego's teammates.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Al-Iskandariya, The Legacy of Class 3-A:** B

Anti Unit or Anti-Army depending on how Alter Ego chooses setting it. Can hit up to twenty enemies at once.

A powerful artificial satellite orbiting the planet, originally created by Alter Ego's classmate Chao Lingshen (also summonable as a Rider or Caster) and wielded by Karakuri Chachamaru (also summonable as an Archer.) Later it was also used by UQ Holder member Ameya Ikkuu. It is employed by Alter Ego because she gained control over it at two different points of her legend. Nicknamed the 'Catellite' by the most playful members of Ala Alba because of its appearance, that of a deceivingly cute device with a small white cat face and ears.

Al-Iskandariya is out of reach for most Servants, making it virtually impossible to strike down unless shot at by a Noble Phantasm comparable to Gate of Babylon, Ea or Excalibur shot upwards. However, it can shoot down with impunity at any point of Earth of Alter Ego's choosing, with a single huge beam as precise as a surgical knife. These beams can be set up to pulverize targets to molecules, simply shred them apart, stun them, or even strip them of all clothes without physically hurting them.

 **Summon:** "... Eh. Are you the Master? How do you do. I'm Alter Ego. Don't get me wrong, I'm here only because I didn't have anything better to do at the time..."

 **Victory:** "Since when can I have beat anyone?! You must've been hella weak!"

"I'm not an over the top stupid person! So I won't boast about this... No matter how great it feels!"

 **Defeat:** "Ugh... I can't get anything done right...!"

"Don't look at me now...!"

 **Defeat by Noble Phantasm:** "Damn you...!"

 **Noble Phantasm Activation:** "H-How did Chachamaru do this, again? Here it goes... Type-2130 Chao Bao Zi Satellite Support System! Open fire!"

 **Extra Dialogue:**

"Oi! It's you again, troublesome old man! What a bother, to see you again... Huh? A, a hug? O-Okay, I guess it's good to see you aren't dead, but only a quick one, and it'd better not be tight...!" (When you have Archer Jack Rakan.)

"Huh, this person... It's okay, don't get me wrong. She seems smart and to have a good grasp on the right way to lead one's life... It's just that, somehow, I can't help but feeling uneasy around her, despite sorta admiring her..." (When you have Assassin Osakabehime.)

"It, it, it's really you...?! Y-Y-You idiot! You have no idea, how much you made me worry, moron...!" (When you have Berserker Negi Springfield or Caster Negi Springfield.)

"Ugh, you have no idea how much I hate that attitude! Strung up women who just can't be honest with what they feel are just the worst, don't you think? And those glasses! Does she think they make her look any smarter, or what?" (When you have Assassin Consort Yu.)

"AAAHHHH! It's you! No, take your hands offa me! I'm not your sweet Chiu-chan!" (When you have Caster Saotome Haruna.)

 **Birthday:** "Uh, happy birthday, here, I have this for you. It's a laptop! You lucky bastard, what better gift than that could you ever ask for?!"

 **Event:** "What a load of crap! This doesn't look like it can compare to Mahorafest... or even our Sports Festival... And it's sure to be even more of a pain than those, too!"

 **Holy Grail:** "... I'm sure I'll be able to think of something to ask from it, eventually... Looking for it seems like such a bother, though... I don't think it'd be worth the headache, Master!"

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


End file.
